#its not technically a prediction but i was right

[themmatennant]

no cause not rtd litterally bringing this up in 'the giggle'. 15 looks 14 (basically 10) right in the eyes and is like u gotta deal with ur shit bro, like ur obsession with *rose* for instance?? or im not gonna be happy ever. . 14 looks so defeated throughout it, and i was just like oop, turns out he didnt move on from rose. I mean he has NOW because he finally dealt and healed from the trauma. and now for the first time in a while, the doctor is finally truly happy

i was thin

i was thinking, since we learned how badly the doctor missed donna despite not seeing her for litterally hundreds of years, he probably still misses rose. and i know that he was married to river but he had other best friends since leaving donna so it would make sense that he was still in love with her and wishes he could be with her

[wip]

A very very minor thing I have been curious about for a while, and I'm finally asking: why do you calculate queue posting times the way you do? For example, if I set my queue to post 3x a day, naively I would expect it to post every 8 hours. But in reality it posts every 6 hours with a 12 hour gap between days. Why complicate the math like that?

Answer: Hello @circumference-pie!

Buckle up y’all, it’s story time again!

First: nobody who works at Tumblr right now was a part of the work of planning the default queue implementation, which was more than ten years ago. So the full story behind “Why does it work that way?” has unfortunately been lost to the sands of time. All we can do is tell you how it works today and surmise some reasons why. The queue is actually a very clever system and part of how it works explains some of why it works the way it does. Also, there have been attempts to do what you ask—we still have “Queue 2.0” available in your Tumblr Labs settings, which tries to get closer to how you expect things to work.

Anyway! How the queue works today is not actually a queue in the traditional sense. There is no single list of posts that are in “your queue”. Instead, when you “Add to queue” after creating a post, we’re actually scheduling it to post at a future time, as if you had used the “Schedule post” option instead. We’re just calculating that time on your behalf when you use “Add to queue”, based on your settings, and how many other scheduled posts you have already. We use a secondary “index” model, called “ScheduledPost”, to keep track of posts you have scheduled on your blog. We do mark the ones that are a part of “your queue”, but the data model doesn’t keep one list of your “queue” per se.

You can see this in action on your blog, hiding in plain sight. If you add a bunch of posts to your queue, and then schedule a post for a specific future date, you’ll see both in your blog’s “queue” list, side by side. Because technically to us, they’re the same thing: queued posts are really just another kind of scheduled post, relying on the same always-running service to publish scheduled posts across all of Tumblr. Here’s a fun fact: we typically have about ~14.5 million future posts to publish from this list at any given time and are publishing hundreds of these scheduled posts every second.

So when you’re adding a new post to your queue, what we’re doing behind the scenes is starting at the beginning of your “day”, and creating time slots based on your queue settings. If a time slot is already filled, we move on to the next one. That’s why the default queue scheduler works how you describe—we’re trying to fill those “slots” based on the start of the day, rather than trying to divide the calendar day evenly. This just makes it much simpler for us to understand, scale, and predict when our “peaks” will be. At peak times, the publish-scheduled-posts service is publishing tens of thousands of posts in a manner of seconds. We did rewrite that post-publishing part of this architecture a few years ago to improve its efficiency and solve a lot of “lost post” bugs, but we didn’t change how “Add to queue” works.

However, the Queue 2.0 project available in Labs was an attempt to change the queue system to work as you expect—instead of starting at [beginning of day] and creating enough slots to fit [number of slots] every [number of hours], it tries to divide the calendar day into [number of slots] and fit the result back to the original algorithm’s mapping of the day. We never productionized this alternative approach, because it has a few bugs that some blogs hit in extreme cases, and we’ve never had time to fully fix them. It also can cause a bit of weirdness when time zones diverge, like with daylight savings time. Also, a lot of people prefer the default algorithm, and we haven’t thought of a nice way to transition everyone from one to the other. So for now, both options exist, and you can choose which algorithm for queue-slot-generating you want to use. We hope that makes sense! 

While complicated, it is a great example of a system built by engineers to make sense and be scalable and predictable. But sometimes these kinds of systems, while clever, aren’t very intuitive to understand without digging into how they work.

Thanks for your question, and keep ’em coming. 

[winged-void]

can you show the world The Mage and its Maid

Memoirs of The Mad Mage

Society, our society, is, broadly speaking, (and so agreed upon by many experts) the outgrowth of systems which never needed interact. Magic and flesh, biology and intellect that was a gift we can never return. You are familiar with these effects if not their causes, but those things are of no concern here. 

This is to say. 

You would expect such a system of systems, to produce aberrant results. The gods did not predict this nor could they plan it. Outgrowth. Externality of their need for worshippers. 

The priorities of such a system would not bias towards aberrance. Shun it. Remove it. 

But is aberrance not progress? Nothing (by definition!) can move forward without change, and what is aberrance but unexpected change. 

A wise reader might have gathered that this expert speaks of the existence of the monstrous. The strange that lurks outside of our little societies and yet seems so much more powerful than it. Is something like leviathan, or a dragon, not much more powerful than any given person? Could it not level our towns? 

Such things lack a fabric binding them. Kill ten thousand people and you'll find only more wanting your head. That power is much more. Is that not the selfsame source of the power our little intelligences were created by the gods to provide them? That togetherness, that binding agent? 

It seems then, that our society would be safe. 

Unless. There were some part of it. Some bright burning star. Some loose stitch in the fabric. That would give that gift to the monstrous, knowing it as its own. 

And I-

tick tick tick tick 

The Mage's pen stilled. 

tickticktickticktick

The pen dropped from its burn-scarred hand. 

ticktick tick   tick ticktick

It looked up. 

Across from the desk at which she wrote, there was a creature of her own creation, one she called the only name she had for a thing such as it: maid. 

An animate suit of armor, wearing a simple black robe, with a white smock thrown over it. To the untrained eye it would seem the armor had an ornate texture across it. And while that is technically true, the more expert viewer would see that texture for what it is: countless runes, all engraved by the steady hand of only the most determined mage. 

When it moved, one could hear a mild sloshing, like it was full of a liquid, which, despite many gaps in the armor, never leaked. 

Right now though, all the Mage could hear was ticking. Uneven, unsteady, disorganized ticking. 

“Cease. Cease cease cease you insipid horrid wretched disgusting thing.”

The faceplate on the armor superheated, melting into the vague impression of a smile. 

The Maid replied, “Oh, my lady, my dearest and most wonderful lady. Please understand. It produces such a rhythmic noise because it has observed, and documented, an uptick in your writing efficiency when such noises are produced.”

It tilted its head to punctuate the statement. 

The Mage stood, and leaned over the table, matted hair draping itself over the ink and paper, and spoke. 

“No. NO. I know you can produce rhythm and that was not it. It was inconsistent. You know it to be inconsistent.”

The Maid tilted its head yet more. 

“Oh my lady, it apologizes so terribly. Your inquisitive spirit was instilled in its being.

“As such, it sought to conduct an experiment of sorts. It wished to see which rhythm would best benefit you. So it switched between them.”

Silence. 

The Mage began to laugh. 

Scrambling over the desk, it grabbed the Maid's arm and began to shake it. 

“How wonderful. How creative. How beautiful. You spite me despite all precautions put in place. I simply must see more. I must.”

She thought for a moment, and looked, not at the faceplate, but instead to where it knew the organism to be. 

“I will. Thank you.”

The Mage fell back into its seat, and began to write much more frantically than before, stopping only to look back up at its creation another time. 

“I will.”

[jinxedruby]

Whumptober Day Four: Hallucinations/"You're still alive in my head"

Featuring Legend. (and Warriors, technically, but mostly Legend lol)

AO3

First part | <- Previous part | Next part ->

-------------------------------

Legend inspected the arrowhead with a frown. He twirled it slowly between his fingers, watching the light catch oddly on the tip.

“Something wrong?”

He glanced up to see Warriors headed toward him, running a cloth along his bloodied blade as he walked.

“I think the arrows might be poisoned,” Legend said. He pushed himself out of his crouch, holding the arrow out to Warriors. Warriors’ brow knitted as he took it. He held it up to the sun the same way Legend had, his frown deepening.

“I think you’re right,” he said after a moment. He lowered the arrow and dabbed a corner of the cloth he’d been using to clean his blade against the arrowhead. He huffed and shook his head before holding the cloth out for Legend to see. A small, purplish-gray dot of liquid soaked into the cloth where he’d touched the arrowhead.

“Definitely poisoned,” Legend concluded.

Warriors gave a grim nod. He crouched and drilled the arrowhead into the earth. “We’ll have to be careful. I don’t have a lot of experience with poisons, but I’d rather not find out what this one does.”

Legend agreed. “Well, we should probably head back and warn the oth-”

A twig snapped and he froze. Warriors gave him a quizzical glance, apparently having not heard the sound. Legend quietly drew his blade, turning to look for the source of the noise. Warriors followed suit, quickly putting the cloth away and taking out his shield. Legend’s gaze bounced across the bodies of the bokoblins he and Warriors had slain. He thought they’d gotten them all, but maybe there were more hidden in the trees. The density of the forest made it difficult to see very far, trees disrupting his line of sight in every direction. He carefully sidestepped around one, squinting.

Warriors slammed into him. Legend grunted as Warriors threw them both back. Two arrows struck the tree not a moment later. Legend whipped his head around to see two bokoblin archers some dozens of feet away, using the trees as cover, bows drawn. Legend and Warriors split as the archers fired again, arrows zipping past them. Legend dove behind a tree. He quickly swapped his sword for his bow. Nocking an arrow and drawing it back, he leaned around the tree. He fired at the same time as one of the bokoblins. He yanked himself back behind cover, the arrow streaking past. He couldn’t tell if his shot met its mark, but he didn’t hear any accompanying monster screech, so he probably missed. He nocked another arrow. A beat passed before he took a step to the side and launched it. He cursed as he missed again, hiding once more as the archer targeted him. He spared a glance toward where he last saw Warriors. The captain stood behind a tree across the way, bow drawn and ready. As Legend watched, Warriors leapt out from behind cover. He fired an arrow then dove forward, ducking behind another tree just as the bokoblins shot at him.

Legend, realizing Warriors was trying to get closer, changed tactic. He leaned out to fire another arrow. Then he twisted around the other side of the tree and fired again in quick succession. He kept it up, trying to avoid falling into a predictable rhythm while also trying to keep the archers’ attention on him so Warriors could get in close.

Just as he stepped out again, he heard a monster screech. He looked around the edge of the tree to see Warriors with his sword plunged into a bokoblin’s middle. Legend paused, bow drawn, hesitant to fire and risk hitting the captain. He kept his eyes trained on Warriors for a moment too long. He realized his mistake just as the other archer fired. An arrow slammed into his leg. Hot pain erupted from the point of impact and he yelped, staggering back behind the tree.

The pain progressed to a horrible burning. He ground his teeth, stumbling to his knees as the feeling raced through his veins up his leg. He gripped the arrow shaft protruding from his boot. Before he could psych himself out, he gave it a sharp yank, ripping it from his leg. A shout tore from his throat, hot blood pouring from the wound and soaking his boot. With a trembling hand, he stabbed the arrowhead deep into the dirt like Warriors had done earlier.

He dragged in a gasp, vertigo suddenly overtaking him. He sat down hard, his back hitting the tree behind him. One hand he pressed to the burning wound, digging around in his pouch with the other. The sun seemed to double in intensity in both heat and light. He squinted against it, blinking as sweat beaded on his brow and rolled toward his eyes. He fumbled around in his pouch, fingers slipping from one item to the next and back again. He had to remind himself what he was looking for several times. He grabbed what he thought was a bottle and pulled it out. It immediately slipped from his shaking fingers. He slurred out a curse, patting the ground weakly as he tried to search for it. The world blurred together into a muddy mix of too-bright lights and too-vivid colors. Nausea clutched at him violently and he went still, tipping his head back against the tree and squeezing his eyes shut. He tried to focus on taking thin breaths, but even that had become difficult.

“Collector!” Warriors’ voice echoed and sounded much too loud. Legend winced as the captain’s abrasive voice pummeled his ears, wanting to cover them but unable to lift his arms very high.

“Hey, look at- look at- look-”

The words bounced around in Legend’s head far too many times until he couldn’t make sense of them anymore. He felt a groan leave his lips, the sound amplified in his head. A sharp ache took up residence behind his eyes and at the base of his neck. His whole body ached, now that he thought about it. Everything felt sore and his leg felt engulfed in flame, his toes and fingers tingling slightly.

“Link!”

He jolted at his name. He peeled his eyelids apart. A blurry figure leaned over him, the color of their hair bleeding into the bright green leaves overhead. He blinked again and the image became slightly clearer, blond hair giving way to dark brown, little red splotches dotting the leaves above. The man’s eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth.

I should’ve known I’d find you here.

Link squinted, trying to see the man against the bright sun. Uncle?

His uncle chuckled. That tired, huh? Did you fall asleep out here again?

Link’s throat felt dry and scratchy. He tried to swallow to abate the feeling, but found himself unable to. In fact, he could hardly move at all. In spite of that, he somehow managed to speak. I guess so.

His uncle gave a fond sigh, lowering himself to sit beside Link. He gazed up at the boughs of the tree, bright red apples dangling from the branches. This might be the biggest harvest we’ve had. We’ll certainly have our work cut out for us.

Link hummed in affirmation, staring up at the apples. Red abruptly appeared in his vision, close to his face. It morphed into an apple that his uncle held to his lips.

Here, why don’t you-

“-drink, c’mon, please-”

-try it?

Link felt sick. He frowned slightly, brushing his uncle’s hand away. Even though he didn’t feel himself actually move. I don’t know if I can keep anything down.

That’s okay.

With no warning, liquid flooded Link’s mouth. His breaths sucked it into his larynx and he choked. He coughed harshly, spitting it out, the liquid burning all the way back up. His uncle held him as he hacked, turning him toward the side so he could more easily get the fluid out of his throat. What just- what was- Link couldn’t finish the thought, too preoccupied with coughing. After he could breathe again, though his throat pinched with every inhale, his uncle moved him back to his previous position, propped up against the tree.

“-please, I don’t-”

Link’s leg clenched painfully. He stiffened, hissing through his teeth and trying to reach toward it. Something stopped him, but he couldn’t figure out what. All at once, heavy drowsiness came over him like a blanket. He blinked slowly, slumping back against the tree.

You look tired, Link. His uncle leaned over him again.

I… Link stared at the tree branches past his uncle’s face. Hadn’t his uncle said he’d been sleeping earlier? He couldn’t quite remember. I am… tired.

Why don’t you rest? his uncle suggested. I can watch the orchard for a bit.

But… Link frowned. Grogginess tugged at his eyelids and vertigo swirled in his head. Exhaustion pressed at him, gently coaxing him down into the earth. His blinks became longer, slower. Something itched at the back of his mind, something important he’d forgotten. His leg didn’t hurt quite so much anymore.

A hand brushed his bangs back, a voice pleading with him to do something he couldn’t quite hear. He thought he heard something about his blood.

His uncle appeared over him, tucking a loose lock of hair behind Link’s ear.

You can rest, his uncle said softly. It’s okay.

It didn’t quite feel okay. But he’d never felt more exhausted in his life. With each blink, it became harder and harder for him to open his eyes again. He… he was really tired. A rest sounded very, very nice. The itch at the back of his mind remained persistent, but the echoing, pleading voice had begun to fade into the background. Everything felt muffled and heavy. The next time he blinked, he didn’t open his eyes.

“-no, no-”

Something in him struggled to stay awake. It tried desperately to focus on the pleading voice, on the itch in the back of his mind.

I’m… He fought his eyes open just a crack. The blurry figure of his uncle still leaned over him. The world had turned muddy and gray, like a veil had been placed over his eyes. I’m not ready. For some reason, the thought made his eyes sting.

He thought his uncle seemed surprised, but he couldn’t quite tell with his bleary vision. Are you sure?

I have something I need to do, still.

For a moment, his uncle remained quiet. Then his eyes crinkled at the corners again. I understand. He held the apple to Link’s lips. Link realized it had been against his mouth the whole time, only leaving when he’d choked. It seemed shinier than normal, the red almost appearing blue, inexplicably.

I’ll be here when you’re ready, his uncle said.

Tears welled in Link’s eyes. He nodded. With a short breath, he bit into the apple.

And blue potion poured down Legend’s throat.

[prettyboykatsuki]

VIOLET | RAZOR. (GENSHIN)

✾ tags ; afab + gn!reader, aged-up characters, virginity loss/first times, established relationship, mutual virginity loss, nipple play, fingering, oral (f!recieving), creampies (reader is using a contraceptive), reader is mentioned to be an orphan / run away , 18+

✾ wc ; 6.1k (went to edit and went 700 words over the wc. pain)

✾ a/n ; i'm losing my mind btw. razor my only triple crowned character my most greatly beloved my angel my sweet. also i added the aged up tag mostly bc its the genshin fandom but. if u dont like that dont read. ez peazy.

also trust and believe the voice im picturing in this is his jpn dub. this is important

✾ synopsis ; you resolve yourself after many long years of abstinence, you're going to ask razor about sex the minute he comes home.

Razor is human. 

On a technical level, this information isn’t news to you. He looks human. His physical makeup is human. He needs to eat and sleep like humans do. Focusing on the technicals alone, Razor is very, very human.

It doesn’t change that he was raised by wolves, though. And you don’t want it too. You think it’d be a shame if he started to assimilate too much into human society just because he felt like he had too. You know how he feels about it. And that Boreas is the closest he’s ever had to a father figure, thus making his claim about Razor's humanity a rather devastating blow. He feels inhuman all while knowing he is. You think once upon a time, he really did wish to be a wolf. 

You’ve known Razor since you were a teenager. You’d ended up in Wolvendom after your exploration of Teyvat led you to its outskirts. You’d bonded over your similarities. Two orphans with no real place where they fit in completely and complete odd-ball personalities - Razor was an easy friend for you to make. Even when you eventually decided to settle into Mondstat - you’d made a point to visit Razor regularly and spend time with him in the forest. 

You made an odd pair of course, but you didn’t mind. If no one else understood you in the world - you know Razor always would. He’d listen patiently about all of your adventures and sit quietly as you decided to pester him by braiding his hair or teaching him new words. Loyal, obedient, sweet.

You never formally had the boyfriend conversation in the time you’d spent together. One day, however, Razor took you to meet Boreas out of the blue as well as the leader of his pack. You figured maybe it was something he did with his close friends. It only occurred to you that maybe this was a more serious meeting when Razor promptly gestured towards you and introduced you as his mate. 

Razor, predictably, was very confused about your minor freak out. You tried not to let it show during your little chit-chat, but afterwards you’d shaken him by the shoulders and interrogated him about his word choice. This of course didn’t register in his mind at all. According to Razor, you’d been his mate since long ago. He’d been courting you since the moment you met in the way wolves are known too. You’re an adventurer, well-versed in certain animal behaviors for the sake of survival, including wolves. 

And looking back on your interactions he was right,  Razor had been courting you from the start. The news made you flush, and you went back into Razors camp and thoroughly educated him on human courting rituals.

(“Why matter?” Razor asks, head laid in your lap while he looks up at you from inside the tent “Not important.” 

“Why would it not be important?” 

He turns towards you, head facing your stomach as one arm lazily wraps around your waist. He yawns sleepily, seemingly not worried about a thing. 

“You are mate. Mate last until death.” He explains, casually - like he’d always believed he’d spend every minute of his life with you. Like that was the only natural outcome for you both and that he’d never consider anything else. You want to explain, it’s different for humans. Humans don’t usually mate that way, you should say. But the words die out in your mouth as he clings closer to you “Sorry for..not asking.. properly. What are we…as humans?” 

You look down at where he lays, thumb brushing over his cheek. 

“Lovers or life partners. They’re closest to the word mate, in definition.” 

“Lovers easier,” He grumbles, eyebrows tightening at the complex words in your sentence “You want to be lovers with Razor?” 

You laugh. Light and bubbly and warm as you lean forward and try to mask the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. 

“Yes. We’re lovers from now on. And mates. And lupical, right?” 

Razor sighs contentedly into your midriff.

“And lupical.”)

According to Razor, you had been mates from the minute you met. According to your human timeline, you have been dating since you were both around 17. It’s been a long time since then and nothing in your relationship has changed.

You’re an adult now and you work with the city of Mondstat studying wildlife populations. You live in the city in a cottage, and Razor lives with you - though he spends most of his day outside. He does the domestic labor while you whittle away at papers and projects. Because of your job, you still spend a fair bit of time together in the wild. He has plenty of insight about the wildlife in Wolvendom and is keen enough on changes to give significant contribution to your study. His work as your partner is unofficial, but everyone acknowledges that you come together in a set. Where you go, Razor follows.

You’re happy with your life. With your relationship to your wolf-boy boyfriend, with the career you’ve carved out of scratch and the life you’ve built. You left your orphanage young and spent a long time on the run. You’re incredibly thankful for all of what you have and you could never think of what more to ask for. 

This is especially true for you and Razor. You’ve never had any real major obstacles in your relationship. Part of this comes from the wolven habit of mating for life. Concepts like pride are foreign to Razor. He says sorry even when he doesn’t completely understand and he has no concept of betraying your loyalty. Most things you can teach, he learns very quickly. But there are also some things no one ever teaches you to navigate. Some boundaries you can’t be sure you’re allowed to cross. 

You’re a blossoming, healthy person in their twenties and so is Razor. He’s scarred and athletic in the outdoorsy way and he’s a little more rugged now that you’ve both grown. He’s hit a growth spurt and he’s taller than you and every time you see his arm flex carrying in an entire boar to butcher in your yard - you start getting so hot under the collar you feel like you’re going to explode. 

The problem is: you want to have sex and you want to have it badly. You want it so bad it’s starting to make you feel like you’re a deviant. Like you’re some kind of harlot masquerading as an archon-fearing civilian.

But it’s so hard to bring up and you don’t know how you’re ever going too. 

You’re very good at asking for what you want usually. It comes with the territory. And thanks to your boyfriend's cluelessness about human social convention, asking for things isn’t embarrassing. Concepts like shame are learned through a lifetime of socialization that he lacks and while you could sit and try to teach him - you don’t think he would care either way. He listens if you tell him he shouldn’t do something, but that’s because you’re his mate and his lupical. 

What other people think is none of his concern. He cares about his Lupical. So if Lisa or Bennet or Klee tell him something, he might take it into consideration. But they, like you, love the parts of Razor that make him how he is and his complete innocence in some ways is part of that. 

You know you could very well ask Razor for sex. You’ve spent a lot of time together and you’ve learned many things about him. It’s not like there’s nothing there at all. Like his every other trait, Razor normally relies on instinct to guide him. You’ve learned through kisses and dry-humping that he can get hard at least. You’ll probably never know the details of his arousal, and the only you’ll ever find out is by having sex with him. 

You don’t know what else he knows. What Lisa has told him of the birds and the bees. 

You have tried to ask Lisa inadvertently, but she enjoys making fun of you too much to give you any straightforward answers. And in her own maternal way, she thinks it’d be better for your relationship if you go ahead and ask yourself. 

She’s right about that, but it’s also not very easy. You know Razor would never judge you. He doesn’t even have the capacity to do so. But while Razor knows nothing of shame, you certainly do. 

It’s your problem to get over. You know that. You rationalize that your fantasies are healthy and normal for someone your age. But there is something terribly humiliating about trying to express the extent of your desire apart from just having it. Is it fair to teach Razor about desire? Does he know of it already and the both of you just suffer in silence? 

Razor is a man. A grown man, and tougher than most men you know. He’s seen more than almost anyone else as part of living in the woods. You know he’s not some innocent fairy. But you can’t get over the feeling like you’re corrupting his sweet preciousness somehow. 

(This has its own charm, but that’s not relevant. Or maybe it is. Maybe there’s guilt for that too but it’s not something you can unpack) 

You’re reaching your upper limit on patience. Your hand can only do the job so long (though the import of sex toys from Fontaine do help) nothing can truly replace what you want. And what you want is Razor.

So, you’ve made your choice. When Razor comes home from…what he’s doing today - you’re going to ask him to have sex.

__

You’ve finished all of your work, did as many chores as you can, and now you’re waiting in your bedroom trying to read a book.

You haven’t even read past the first page, actually. But you’re trying. It’s hard to do anything meaningful when your brain keeps pivoting back to what's going to happen when your boyfriend returns home. 

You’re nervous and fidgeting, rubbing your socked feet together and running over the laundry list of talking points you’ve concocted trying to make this happen. You shaved but not bare because you know he definitely wouldn’t like it, but you’re clean. You aren’t sure if he’s going to like that either and he’s expressed that he likes when you smell natural. But it soothed your anxiety to shower so he’ll have to leave with it. 

You have no idea how this could go. You don’t even know how to prepare for the worst, because you don’t know what the worst is. But you reassure yourself with the fact Razor loves you and leave it at that.

You hear the door open and take a deep breath. 

There’s heavy footsteps that get louder and louder. Razor cracks the door open politely, peeking his head into your shared room. He makes a face, the softest little smile you’ve ever seen - before letting himself in and shutting the door behind him. He’s quick to undress himself - jacket and scarf abandoned along with his boots. Leaving him in green pants and a bandage around his chest and arsm. 

“Hi,” He says simply, coming down over to where you’re laid. He chooses to sit on the floor, folding his arms on the bed as he looks at you patiently “Missed you,” 

“Hey there,” Your heart is pounding just looking at him. He’s unreasonably handsome. Had he grown up in normal conditions, you think he would’ve been a very popular loner type. “How was your family?” 

“Good,” He says shortly, eyes warm and light “New pup. First time seeing since I was little. Very small and cute.” 

“I’m glad. Bet it’s nice not to be the youngest anymore.” 

“Come next time,” He says genuinely “They miss you.” 

Your heart is so full you think it might burst. It temporarily soothes your anxiety.

“Of course I will.” 

Razors eyes examine you for a minute. Your heart is still racing. Of course he notices it. He knows much more about you than you’ll ever know about yourself. His brow creases in concern. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You look at him apologetically, immediately warmed by how worried he is. You give him a small smile. 

“I’m okay. Just a little nervous. Wanted to ask you about something.” 

“Okay. I listen. No need to..be nervous.” 

Right. He’s right about that. You sit up and Razor remains where he is. He’s seated comfortably on the floor, on his knees - between your thighs. He’s a sight for sore eyes, terribly rugged and scarred with nothing but honesty settled in his gaze. Carmine and beautiful. You fold your hands in your lap and before you can worry too much, Razor grabs one in his hand. 

He kisses your knuckles so gently, leaning his face into your palm. 

“It’s okay.” 

You figure it’s best to be straight to the point. 

“Uhm. Razor. Do you…know what sex is?” 

“Yes.” 

“Well, it’s—wait what? Did you just say yes?” 

He nods again. “Miss Lisa taught me.” 

That witch. You take a deep breath. It’s now or never.

“And uhm, what did she tell you about it?” You ask tentatively. 

“Like mating but for humans. Best to do with mate. Good to be careful or else pups will come too soon.” 

You stare at him, jaw slack. 

“Right. And what else?” 

He racks his brain right in front of you. 

“Uhm. Can be for…feel good. Should go slow. Lots of things different from wolf.” 

“...Do you know how it happens? The specifics?” 

Razor goes a soft pink. Razor blushes. 

“Yes.” 

You have no idea what to feel. Not the faintest clue in the world. This is the first time in your entire relationship either of you have been in an awkward situation. You’re partially relieved it’s not completely foreign, partially feeling hot between the legs because you’re not corrupting anything. You make a face of uncertainty. 

“Oh. Uhm. Do you—have you ever.. I mean—have you ever wanted to have sex with me then? I-is that something you’d…want to do?” 

Razor almost looks perplexed by this question. He nods, then follows up. 

“Yes. A lot.” 

You nearly choke on your spit. 

“A lot?” 

“Yes. But.. Miss Lisa said to wait. Until mate asks.” 

You’re going to have a serious discussion with that damned woman later. You take a shaky breath, looking at him carefully. This is going to break you in a way you don’t know if you’ll recover from. But you’re fine, you’ve made it this far. And you don’t want to back down when you haven’t gotten to the finish line. The final blow. 

You’re not completely sure where you go from here honestly. Your brain was fully expecting to go on a long rant about sexual intercourse. Now that that’s out of the window, you’re at a loss. You decide, internally, that going straight forward is the best thing you could do for now. 

“Then… would you want to have sex with me?” 

His eyes widen then he pauses, looking worried. 

“Well…yes. But, worried. Not sure…how.” 

“Well, uhm. Normally it starts with kissing and t-touching and things like that. You can just do what feels right. Uhm.. and I’ll tell you… what I like. A-and what feels good.” You offer, trying not to show just how nervous you are even suggesting “But uhm… I also… think about it. A lot. With you.” 

His eyes light up, and you can practically see the change in him. You’ve never let yourself get close enough to look but when you see him now that you know, it’s obvious. He’s looked at you like this before. 

Like he wants you. 

“Razor,” You say, bracing yourself for impact “Come up here.” 

He’s quick to his feet. You lay back down and Razor lays himself ontop of you, hovering gently. He smells like forest, the rich warm scent of dirt and sunlight mixed with sweat that you’ve grown fond of. Looking down at you, he presses his forehead against yours with his eyes fluttered closed. 

“Mate,” His breath is warm like he’s been chewing mint leaves and sweet flowers. He does it sometimes before coming home “Love you,” 

“I love you too, Razor. You don’t,” You swallow thickly, suddenly aware of your proximity “Don’t hold back okay? You won’t break me.” 

“Want to..” He thinks slowly, brain clearly struggling to come up with the right word “Cherish. Want to cherish mate. Cherish you.” 

You give him a breathy laugh as he leans in close to you. 

“Did Miss Lisa teach you that?”

“Yes,” He replies, pressing his cheek to yours and rubbing himself against you innocently “Cherish you a lot.” 

“I cherish you a lot too,” You offer and he smiles. You feel your heart thump as you look up at him less innocently “Let’s kiss first, okay” 

He doesn’t reply. This much is familiar. Though this was something you had to teach him at first, you would go as far as saying Razor kisses better than you. He’s better than you in these ways most of the time. He knows how to read your body language down to the most irrelevant details, attuned to your physicality in a way that could only be inhuman. The first time he noticed a change in your cycle after starting some herbal contraceptives, you were turned on as much as you were afraid. 

His mouth is hot and overwhelming, plush as he kisses you passionately. He’s quick to open your mouth up with his tongue. Razor likes to taste. It’s natural for him to slip his tongue past your lips and lick at yours. You think if anyone else did it you’d be turned off. But with him hovering you over you, desperate as he pulls and nips at your lower lip - it’s stimulating.  It makes you wet before you can think about it too hard. Your hands curl themselves around his neck, tangling at the thick roots of his gray hair. 

He moans when you tug, and your eyes nearly pop out of your sockets. You do it again, a little harder and the same broken sound leaves his lips in the middle of kiss. You swallow the noise before pulling away, looking at his face. His face is perfectly rosy, lips swollen from where you’ve been kissing them.

“Did you,” You look at him erratically, eyes going over every part of his face “Did that feel good?” 

He nods, dumbfounded. 

“Felt good but,” He shakes his head in disbelief “Don’t know why.” 

You giggle, delighted with the outcome. 

“No it’s good, that’s normal.” You say trying not to babble “It’s like your body’s weak point.”

“Not weak.”

“It’s not a bad thing. I have some too. Like my neck.”

You can see the gears turning in his head.  He tucks his chin against your shoulder and before you can speak to ask him about it, he’s pressing his lips against the skin of your neck. He doesn’t stop at a kiss, though. He proceeds to lick the small patch of tender flesh, before sinking his teeth into it.

You moan. You moan sharp, almost like a gasp of pain. He opens his mouth to ask if you’re okay but when he sees you he stops. He blinks, then gives you a look you’ve never seen. 

His voice is almost chipped - richer and more hoarse as his fingers go over what can only be bite marks.

“Feels good?” He says, then adds more urgently “Where else?”

You’ve made him discover something. You’re sure of that. He looks awfully determined about it, too. 

You sigh shakily, grabbing his hands. Even though you’re trembling mercilessly, you want this. You want him. You let his hand squeeze around the swell of your tits - your nipples peeking through the thin fabric of your shirt. With your eyes locked on his, you brush your nipples.

“H-here,” You admit watching his eyes go dark. Animalistic. “Uhm. W-with your mouth, you c-can suck on them.” 

He’s quiet. 

“Like pup?” 

You laugh. 

“A little bit like that, I guess. But it’s different.” 

He makes a small, approving noise with his mouth, once again thinking hard about something before he continues down his path. He leaves open kisses all over your skin, hands reaching to undress you. You help him, peeling your shirt over your head and tossing it somewhere. His eyes are shut closed, in bliss as he licks and bites down your neck with no real grace. His tongue is wet and rough all over you. 

You can tell you’re being primed for something animal. Like being tenderized, worked apart in a way that makes you melt into something soft. Something that can be broken without teeth, that can be swallowed in one go. It’s not a romantic kiss as much as it’s a hungry graze, a gnawing lust. He’s not being so reserved anymore, and that means sinking his teeth as far into you as he can go, not enough to break the skin. Razor would never break you. But he might ruin you, might melt you down from your very center until he can tear you apart. 

You thought it’d hurt, and it does - but in a good way. There’s some sick sense of relief in how achy your whole body is. You’re burning up because Razor wants you like he’s starving. An emptiness claws at you, makes the back of your gums ache. Makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand nearly straight as you sink deeper in. You want to be full of him and you want him to get so full off of you. 

Razor doesn’t stop his tirade even when he gets down to your chest. Instead his mouth closes around your tit, hard incisors sinking into the supple skin but only slightly gentler than before. His canines feel sharper than yours. They must be. 

“O-oh,” You can feel your voice shake as you hold onto the back of his head. He touches the other one with his free hand, squeezing and massaging the skin. He rubs your nipples experimentally in the same way you did a moment ago. “Razor, hngh,” 

A noise is pulled from the back of his throat, a growl - so hard and heavy that it reverberates into your skin. You can feel it spread through your whole body, your core tightening up. Your skin is prickly. A solar flare shooting through your spine. 

You don’t think you’ve ever been so aroused. You can hardly breathe around the weight of it sitting in your chest.

“Your scent..change.” Razor says through a breath, a thick layer of saliva where his mouth once was “Hot. So hot.” 

You nearly whimper. 

“ It’s because I’m wet…Aroused.” 

“Wet?”

“It means I want to be touched. I want you to touch me down there.” 

A beat of silence. 

“Want me..to mate with you.” He sits up onto his knees, staring at you. Your legs are around his waist loosely. He presses a hand to your clothed sex. You jolt at the contact. “Want me to fill you, here?” 

He puts his hand on your hip, on your stomach - before tucking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts.

“Want to see. What’s wet, I want to see.” 

You lift your legs slightly, pulling your shorts off as you're bent at the knee. It’s embarrassing being bare naked in front of Razor, though you’ve seen him in the same state plenty. He’s quick to grab your knee and force your legs apart wide. He’s got that same focused stare, tongue poked out as he brushes the coarse hairs on your mound with his knuckle. You squirm under the feeling. 

“Pretty,” He says first, then follows with “It’s…very warm. Hot but doesn’t hurt” 

Razor explores with his hands. He runs his finger along your slit, before using his thumbs to spread you apart. He nudges your clit. At first you wonder if it's an accident, but when he does it again - rubs a pointed circle on the aching bundle of nerves you realize he’s being intentional. 

“Here, right?” Razor says slowly and gauges your reaction “Feels good for you…here. Helps.” 

You want to ask who taught him such a thing but you already know the answer. You nod helpless, feeling the way his thumb goes back and forth. He tries it in different ways, watches whatever way makes your breath hitch the most. 

“Here makes you… jump. Like bunny rabbit. Like prey”

The word prey almost takes you out. You can’t make your words out very eloquently anymore. “It’s uhm sensitive.” 

He knows the word. You’ve taught him it. He looks at your bare cunt all awestruck, gloved hand resting on your sex as he continues to toy with your clit. You squirm and shake, even trying to pull away. Razor manages to grab you, keeps you pinned with your legs spread, using his own body to keep you like that. 

“Razor,” You moan, grabbing at his wrist “Razor.” 

“Mm. It’s soft. So soft.” 

“I want to see yours.” 

It takes him a second to register your words, but he’s not ashamed in the slightest when he does. He takes off his gloves right before. You’ve felt it, briefly, the weight and heft of his cock through clothes but you’ve never actually seen it. You gasp as he pulls it out, tucking his pants down under his balls. He’s hairy - thick dark gray hairs nested at the base. His cock has a pretty curve up, tip ruddy and bright. It’s drooling, dribbling pre-cum and heavy. He wraps his free hand around the base and strokes it instinctively. It’s a good length, but it’s thick. Thicker than you could’ve ever conjured up in your own mind.

You reach for it between your bodies, your hands trembling as you touch it. Razor lets out another throaty growl. Your hand doesn’t fit around it completely. The back of your throat tightens up.

“You’re—it’s big. I can’t—not at once. I h-have to open myself up a little bit.” 

Razor tilts his head to one side and you shake yours in reply. 

“I need to uhm,” You gesture vaguely “Make it more..wet and stretch myself out. So you fit i-inside.” 

“Want to help. Teach me.” 

“...Teach you?” 

“Easier if I..learn now. When we do it again later. Teach me..how to touch you.” 

The words sound sweet coming out of his mouth, honeyed and loving. An obedient and eager pupil, Razor has always been that hasn’t he? And he always listens the best he can, tries his hardest. You suppose that this instance is no different. You suck in a breath and spread your legs a little more. 

“Watch,” 

Razor watches. He watches as you dip your fingers into your mouth and coat them with saliva. Watches as you snake a hand in between your legs and dip your middle finger down low into your cunt - with a trembling sigh at the sudden intrusion. He watches intimately as you pump them in and out, rhythmic and noisy. The sound of your own wet heat rings in your ears as you spread yourself in earnest. 

Half-way through, Razor puts a hand on your thigh. He pushes your own hand away, and waits for you to open your eyes. He stares at you, long and hard. 

“I want to eat you. Want to lick,” His hand cups your bare pussy “Here. Make you wet. Open you by myself. Want to eat.” 

You’re speechless. Profoundly turned on by the sentiment, so much so you can’t make out your own voice. 

“Uhm,” You close your hands into a fist, tucking your chin. “You can do whatever you like, Razor.” 

He assesses the statement and you watch him take it in. He ends up on his stomach, lying between your thighs. You’re fascinated by his assurance in himself. He takes the right position between your legs. You spread out to give him easier access and he gives you a silent look of thanks. His breath is warm as it fans your cunt. 

Before you get a chance to breathe, Razor sticks his tongue and licks. It’s animalistic with no real finesse at all. He makes up for it with enthusiasm and some conclusions he’s drawn with your assistance. He sucks on your clit nearly feverish, takes it into his mouth like he did your tits minutes prior. It’s drooly and sticky and nasty in a way that makes you ashamed. You’re more ashamed because you like it, you love it really. Spit is running down, dripping down to your ass. It’s a loud slurp - a shameless, nasty hunger in how he licks up your arousal with his mouth and drenches your pussy with spit. 

His groans reverberate into you. He likes what he’s doing. The sound and touch and taste - Razor overwhelms you with all of it. There’s a tangible intensity wrapping up around you, keeping you trapped in the wolf's den. 

You don’t teach him to use his fingers. He seems to have figured it out. The pad of his middle finger draws the spit pooling along your seam before pushing itself into your tight hole. You gasp at how invasive it is at first. Razors fingers are thick and scarred and you can feel the ridges of your raised skin from healed injured when he fucks you open with them. 

It feels good. Being wanted. Being consumed voraciously and openly without any care for shame. Razor is the embodiment of raw desire and all of it- every ounce of it is being used to devour you. The descendant of wolves, the son of the forest - laid between your thighs and eating like something delicious left at an abandoned altar. 

Even clumsy, you’re turned on beyond reason. Arousal leaves you shakily pawing at him to slow down. Your voice is reduced to nothing but small whines and mewls - pleas to slow down that fall on deaf ears. 

“Razor,” Your voice is clipped “Razor, please - it’s enough. Just.” 

When he snaps out of his haze, his chin is soaked with arousal and spit. He wipes it with the back of his hand, looking at you. 

“Tastes good. You taste nice.” He praises, heaving and out of breath. 

Your stomach flares up with new found lust, hands covering your face. 

“Archons, just. Come here.” 

Razor climbs up on top of you again. You cup his face and kiss him hard, tasting yourself on him. 

“You’re so unfair. But I can’t get angry because you’re not even doing it on purpose.”

“Sorry,” 

You shake your head, kissing the corner of his mouth. Trembling with need. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I want you inside. Want you to fill me in here, so bad, Razor.” 

His eyes widen. Your desperation must reach him this time, because he nods. innocently. You’re thankful beyond words you’re on contraceptives. At this point, you think trying to use a condom would break you down.

“You just have to put it inside. But please go slowly, okay?” 

“Go slowly…won’t hurt you.” 

Razor sits up on his knees again, drawing your waist down towards him. Before he pushes into you, he lays his cock against your sex - pushing it between messy folds. His expression morphs, his jaw tensing as the head of his cock swells and throbs against your aching clit. It slides and slips so messily, pussy clinging to his hard length. You guide his cock towards your entrance while he leans forward over you. His palms are rough as they grab your hips, hands settling up under your knees. 

You can feel his cock as he rolls his hips slowly. Your nails dig into his back, indenting the skin as you cry out. It’s thick, intrusive as he pushes into your tight little hole. Even after opening you up, there’s an ache inside as the head stretches your pussy open. The raw drag of skin on skin as Razor pushes inside of you. You can feel him with every movement, your legs wrapped around his waist tight.

Razor has always had a limited vocabulary. He likes to speak in short sentences since it’s what he does best. His speech now is a lot more developed, but he still finds it troublesome. 

It stuns you when Razor's grip tightens and he swears under his breath - a single word, long and drawn out as his cock pushes into you deeply. 

“Fuck,” 

“R-razor?” 

“Feels good…feels so good. Want…move. Please.” 

“You can move, just let me hold onto you okay?” 

Razor tucks his head against your neck before he fucks you. In one smooth motion, he pulls himself out completely before shoving himself back in. It’s as gentle as he can go, but you can practically feel him shaking above you. How his whole being urged him to fuck you llike an animal. The desperation rolls off of him in waves, his own hands gripping tighter as he slowly finds a rhythm to fuck you in. Clumsy thrust that turns into careful calculated ones as you urge him to go deeper. 

“Deep,” Razor pants against your neck, his breath tickling your skin. His voice is a low growl as his hips snap up to meet the back of your thighs with each thrust. Your bed creaks each time he moves, the frame knocking against the wood “I’m deep inside you,” 

“Razor,” You sneak a hand between your bodies, clumsily toying with your clit - pleasure ruining your every thought “Harder. Give it to me harder.” 

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Razor gives up on trying to hold himself back. He fucks you with nearly reckless abandon, an impressive amount of strength and weight behind each thrust. His dick pushes in and out of you hard and fast in the most unromantic way. You can feel it all the way up to your throat. It makes the back of legs and and your lower half feel tingly. Your head is blank, nothing but spotted white in your vision. You blink them open to look at Razors face. 

He’s biting at his lower lip hard, focusing all of himself on his thrusts. He’s enduring it well. Your insides clench, a fluttery sensation starting to build up between your legs. You can feel it in your belly, the knot starting to untie. 

Razor is starting to feel it too him. 

“Inside so, ngh - hot.  S-something coming, going to—” 

“A little more. Gonna cum soon, Razor. Feels so good, you make me feel so good.” 

Your mindless praise makes him whimper. A soft noise that echoes through you. You repeat it over and over, in a high voice like you’d praise a puppy. Razor takes it in beautifully, trying so hard not to succumb to his own desires. He restrains despite how hard and how fast and how deep he’s fucking you. You know it’s not easy. 

“I’m gonna c-cum, Razor,” You say, at the very edge “Cum with me. It’s okay, you can let it out.” 

You cum hard. Harder than you think you ever have in your life, then you’ve ever been able to manage by yourself. The sensation hits all at once, like falling through the sky, you can feel the clouds pushed away by the weight of you coming down through. Your insides tighten and tense one last time before everything releases at once, and waves of the aftershock leave your pussy fluttering. You’re washed with pure euphoria, crying out Razor’s name as you cum. 

Razor is quick to follow you. Your own orgasm seems to drive him over the edge, and he cums deep inside. He muffles his cry by biting into your shoulder, groaning as hot seed spills into your cunt with a harsh stutter of hips. He fucks into your pussy, soft and messy before bottoming out and nearly collapsing on top of you. 

It takes you a long minute to catch your breath well enough to speak. 

You rub Razors back soothingly before you do. He lifts his head, eyes heavy as he looks at you. 

“Wow,” He says, eyes wide and blown out. You can’t help but break out into a fight of laughter “Love you…”

“I love you too, Razor.”

“Wanna do it again,” Razor says, looking at you seriously “Can I?” 

You feel a pulse of warmth through your whole body before nodding. 

“Uhm. Yes. Just give me a break first, okay?” 

[adventuringblind]

Teach Me Part Two

Max Verstappen x Reader Part One

Genre: Hurt/Comfort with a speck of spice (technically speaking)

Summary: Max teacher his girl about subdrops and helps her through one of her own

Warnings: Softdom Max, mentions to a past toxic relationship, mentions of choking, subdrop, minor insecurity, Implied smut but nothing graphic, Lando is mentioned for like a paragraph because I can

Notes: For @nurse-sainz who has fueled my brainrot to an unhealthy amount

Side Note: My inbox is open and I crave attention... :)

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Max had come to the conclusion early on that she would inevitably hit a subdrop at some point. As much as he would like to make it so she never has one, he knows it's going to happen eventually. It's - unfortunately - hard to predict and often random. 

Crashing out of a subspace too fast, A used safeword, maybe even just too much stimulation. He's had partners be in that lovely place in their heads and fine only to fall from it without grace and send them into a panic. 

“A subdrop? I don’t think I read about those-”

“It’s one of those things that they don’t talk about as much. Hitting a subspace is hard because you have to let go, right? A subdrop is when your mind is stuck between the two. It’s trying to take back control but can’t.” Max pauses the movie they hadn’t been paying attention to. This conversation takes precedence as far as he’s concerned. 

She hums and rubs the side of her face against his arm like she’s a cat. “They sound scary. I’m not sure I want to have one of those.” 

“Just remember that if you ever do, I’ll be right there with you, yes?”

“Yes.”

He smirks at her. The idea had already been planted in his head. “Yes, who?”

She grumbles. A furious shade of red making its way across her cheeks. The honorifics is a relatively recent thing. The effect it has on her has Max cooing; debating if he should ever let her out of his arms again. 

“...Yes sir.” 

“Good girl.” 

~~~♡~~~

Choking had come up a few times in the past. They’d talked about it but not done anything with it. Not since she wasn’t sure. She’d even brought up how her ex (the bastard) had tried to choke her out before she managed to flip them over and bolt to Max’s own room. 

He wasn’t going to push for that. Never something that could be triggering. They’d decided that his hand gently putting pressure on the back of her neck was enough. She liked that and Max liked that she was communicating. 

But sometimes - even that can be enough to bring back memories. He’d been lucky so far to not have triggered anything. Max knows from experience that even movements that are too quick can have an adverse reaction. 

It’s not late, the sun is barely setting over the Monaco sky. Though - he’s not paying attention to the time so it could also be rising. He’d never know the difference. He’s only focused on the mess of a female he has underneath him. 

She’s not formed a coherent string of words since orgasm number three. Only able to squeak out his name alongside little whimpers. It’s safe to say Max is pussy drunk and can’t get enough of her. He’s not satisfied yet, and wants to see how far he can push.

Max isn’t sure which touch triggers it. He’s pressed up against her in most spots leaving it hard to decipher where he ends and she begins. 

He only notices she’s slipped into that awful middle headspace when he pulls back for just a second, intent on picking his pace back up. The confused fear that settles over her expression makes him freeze, patiently assessing the situation. 

Her teeth clatter together, the pain of something evident. The breathing pattern he’d been waiting to even out only gets worse. “Schat, can you take a big breath for me?” He settles the palm of his hand against her rapidly beating heart. His concern only grows when she doesn’t show any signs of hearing him. 

She makes a defensive movement to cover her throat with her own hands, silently pleading with her eyes not to touch her in such a vulnerable location. It dawns on him, that in his own flurry of movements, it’s possible he brushed her neck and set off her emotions.

“I’m going to step away from you for a second so I’m not touching, okay?” Her eyes go wide with panic and he knows she’s probably struggling to comprehend. The sadness of her expression kills him as he detaches. 

Tears prick her eyes the second contact breaks completely. She snatches hold of Max’s own wrist and in a last ditch effort to make him stay, tries to press his fingers around her airway. “Nonono, schat, I know you don’t want that.” When he’s able to hold her gently once more after having resituated, the sobs she’d been biting back finally escape. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe, I would never do something you didn’t want.” 

Max doesn’t grimace when her nails press into his bare skin; when she’s clinging to him for stability. He holds her, hums, helps her to try and steady her breath. 

“Mm’ sorry-” 

“Shh, you’ve nothing to be sorry for. Rest now.” 

~~~♡~~~

Max manages to coax her into sleeping. She’s cute like this, curled up against him with her ear pressed against his chest. He presumes the rhythmic sound of his thudding heart is helping calm her mind. He makes a mental note to invest in some kind of white noise for if (he knows it’ll be a when, but he’s choosing to be optimistic). 

“Max?” Her eyes crack open, only to shut tight again when she yawns. 

“Hello beautiful, how are you feeling?” He tosses his phone aside to give her his full attention. 

“Better - I think. I’m not sure I liked that feeling.”

“I would be concerned if you did, schat.” 

She stretches her limbs out and flops further over the top of him. “Thank you… I was scared I messed up and you were going to leave.” He has to take a deep breath and remember that anger at the man who put these crazy thoughts in her head is no longer able to come close. He made sure of that with a few cryptic messages glued together in newspaper words and Lando’s artistic assistance. 

“You’ve bewitched me! Body and soul… or something-”

“Are you trying to quote Pride and Prejudice?” 

“Is it working?” He’s blushing at his own lame attempt. Victoria would have his head for this later. Problems for future Max. 

She giggles. “Not really - but I’ll give you a pass this time.” 

Max gets her out of bed and into a bath. He makes a show of letting her pout to join her inside win out. He lost that battle before it even started, but she doesn’t need to know that. 

“It’s nice… trusting someone like this.” She relaxes against him, the water now lukewarm and the bubbles having dissipated. 

“You still trust me?” Oops - Max hadn’t meant to let his own insecurity about the ordeal leak out. Oh well…

She tilts her head in confusion. “Why would I not?” 

“It happens sometimes after a drop like that. At least - I’ve heard it can. I figured I was lucky enough that it hadn’t.” 

“I think you’re just good at this. Not like you were trying to hurt me.” She shrugs. “I trust you, Max. You have given me nothing but your undying love and support.” 

“...Now look who’s being sappy!” 

“At least mine is original.” 

“Can you at least pretend that I’ve also given you some really good dick?” 

“Fine! Nothing but your undying devotion to me and some really dick. Happy?”

Max sighs happily and drags her body as close to his as he can manage. “With you? Always.”

[primussavethesemechs]

I want the human/cybertronian life difference to be talked about more in canon

Cuz I mean. it’s RIGHT THERE.

Just a smidgen of true acknowledgment I BEG YOU HASBRO‼️

i mean come on all it takes is someone mentioning how long the wars been going for one of the humans to go “4 MILLION YEARS???? WHAT THE FUCK HOW OLD ARE YOU???”

And optimus or ratchet to be like “…5/7 million?” And all of the humans to have a break down CUZ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE BEFORE THE HUMAN SPECIES EXISTED??? WE WERE MONKEYS WHEN YOU WERE BORN???

And the (woefully uniformed) cybertronians to be like “??? What do YOU mean your species was still evolving when I onlined, how long do you guys live?? A thousand?? A few hundred??”

And the gobsmacked humans to be like “??? NO WE HARDLY LIVE OVER A HUNDRED ITS CONSIDERED AN ACCOMPLISHMENT?? AVERAGE OLD AGE DEATH IS LIKE MID 80s!! TECHNICALLY THE AVERAGE LIFE SPAN IS 72 OR SOMETHING???”

Cue the autobots being like “😨 72??? THATS A CHILD WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT⁉️”

the more attached/emotional bots looking at their charges and realizing that not only are they sparklings compared to them but they’ll die as sparklings too in just a few decades, causing them to straight up have a mini meltdown.

Yeah they’re in a war and they’ve lost plenty of friends, but never to anything as predictable and inescapable as old age.

It’s the seeing-it-coming part that gets to them, the slow dread of knowing that even if they do everything right and keep them out of danger and they stay healthy there’s nothing they can do to stop them from withering away in a couple of decades.

Most versions of bumblebee looking at their charge/friend and realizing his assumptions about the fact that since they’re both still young that they’ll have plenty of time to just. Live together and have fun- are wrong?? Immediately tears. Even if cybertronians can’t cry tears he’s doing whatever the equivalent is and running away to cry in his room. And then running back to snatch them and take them with him cuz HE CANT WASTE A SECOND IF THEIR LIFESPANS ARE REALLY THAT SHORT HES GONNA JUST HAVE TO SPEND 24/7 WITH THEM

This whole concept ESPECIALLY applies to TFP since all of them got their own little human buddy and there’s only like 5 autobots to begin with (of the main season 1 crew) they’ve lost so many of their own so recently, their numbers are already dwindling down to nothing, they’re losing the war and the kids are what’s given them a major morale boost. To continue fighting they need hope, and the kids have kind of become their hope for the future- to know they’ll die off in under a century despite how young they still are is a shot to the spark.

Look me in the eye and tell me bee wouldnt panic hearing that Raf only has 70-80 years to live. LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME HE WOULDNT HAVE SOME KIND OF FIT OVER BEING TOLD THAT HIS LITTLE BUDDY (from a cybertronian perspective) HAS A LIFESPAN EQUIVALENT TO A LATE STAGE TERMINAL ILLNESS DIAGNOSIS. Bee would start treating Raf like a kid with stage 4 cancer 😭

I just KNOW bulkhead would have the worst reaction other than bee, maybe even worse cuz he looks at miko and realizes she’s used up basically a fifth of her entire lifespan already and she’s Still So Little and straight up starts weeping. That’s his DAUGHTER you can’t take her from him so soon it’s not FAIR! He might have to go destroy a canyon wall or something to let some of the anger and grief out

Arcee is Not taking it well either.

She JUST got attached to this one, just got used to a new partner and your telling her that no matter what she does he’s never going to last as long as tailgate of cliff jumper did?? Even if both he and she do everything they’re supposed to do to protect him and extended his life?? Depression time baby

Optimus and ratchet don’t react as much outwardly to the news as the others but inside they’re both 💔💥

These kids have brought optimus a level of contentment he hasn’t felt in vorns, and he sees how bright their spirits shine- Only to now know those precious spirits will burn out in less than a century- it gnaws at him inside, yet another strike from the cruelty of fate

Ratchet is devastated but refuses to acknowledge it, these kids- yes even miko- have become his pseudo grandkids and he’s not ready, nor will he ever be ready, to outlive them. Jacks reminds him too much of a younger optimus, still learning and still hopeful. Miko is… well she has a fire to her that ratchet can appreciate (when she’s not actively annoying him) she’s determined enough to make anything happen which he does begrudgingly respect even if he wishes she wouldn’t just throw herself into any and every situation just for fun.

And Raf…

Raf is his apprentice, the only one of the kids to understand him and listen intently to his stories of cybertron. To show appreciation for his work and his ideas, to Listen and Learn and Improve his inventions. He harbors the most fondness for Raf since he sees so much potential in him, and has taken him under his wing in teaching him cybertronian language and biology.

He feels almost like he’s training a student to take his place- only for the ground to be ripped out from under him to know that Raf will never have the chance to succeed him, will never even outlive him.

A parent should never have to bury their child, and ratchet already feels that he has.

-

TLDR the autobots find out humans have fruit fly lifespans next to them and become one big soggy mess of tears, optimus and ratchet included although they try to have a stiff upper lip about it (and fail to varying extents)

I swear this was supposed to be about any and all continuities but TFP took over completely😭 idk it just fits the best since they focus so much on how attached the bots get to the kids

Edit: btw this was inspired from the fact I found out that the cybertronian equivalent to a year (yes I know technically they have solar cycles which are roughly a human year but what they consider a year vs their lifespan/time perception is different) is a vorn. A vorn is 80 HUMAN YEARS. I saw that and went “oh wow a vorn is like a whole human lifespan!😃” and then I went “OH A VORN IS A WHOLE HUMAN LIFESPAN 😀“

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 1, Unarmed - Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Mild language, Bucky and Reader being Tolkien nerds, light fluff, mention of rabies (it's a super scary disease and we should all be vigilant, okay?!)

Word Count: 1.6k

Previously On...: You just had the pleasure of meeting the very handsome Bucky Barnes. Despite a little bit of awkwardness during your first encounter, you have a feeling your life is about to get a lot more interesting now that he's been introduced into it.

A/N: You know what? I said I wasn't going to do this, but I thought "fuck it!" and decided to post all of Chapter 1: Unarmed. My anxiety is too high to just sit on it. So, please enjoy Ch1. Pt2! Pts 3 & 4 to follow!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic

The next evening, you were making your way back to your suite after a productive, albeit exhausting, day in your lab. You were working on a crisis prediction real-time monitoring system to anticipate global threats. You were convinced it would allow the Avengers to respond to trouble faster, but perfecting the privacy algorithm had been an absolute pain in the ass, and you still hadn't gotten it quite right. Technically, you could have farmed the project off to a subordinate; hell, even a team of subordinates of a subordinate, but this was one of your pet projects and you insisted on being hands-on in its development.

You had your tablet open as you walked, chewing on your thumb and reviewing the dataset from the run of your latest algorithm model one more time. Closer, but not good enough. If you were going to convince Tony that this was a program worth implementing, especially at its projected cost, everything had to be perfect. "Damn it," you muttered to yourself.

You rounded the corner and ran smack into Bucky's chest, dropping your tablet and causing him to drop the three books he'd been holding under his remaining arm. "Oh, shit-- I'm so sorry," you uttered as you bent down to retrieve the dropped items. Bucky leaned down to assist you, but you waved him off.

"’S my fault; I've got it," you told him, piling up his books for him. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Bucky leaned up against the wall and chuckled while you stood up and handed the books back to him. "I doubt you could hurt me," he said, smiling softly. "No offense."

You let out a small laugh. "None taken." He was a super soldier, after all. Stealing a glance at book spines, you couldn't suppress the smile that crossed your face. "Lord of the Rings," you nodded appreciatively. "Have you read them before?"

Bucky looked down at the books tucked under his arm. "No, first time. I read The Hobbit back when it was first published in '37, but these didn't come out until after..." he trailed off, but you knew what he meant. After he'd been abducted and brainwashed, turned into a murderer.

You nodded in understanding. "I'm actually really excited for you," you told him. "What I wouldn't give to be able to read them again for the first time."

"You a Tolkien fan, then?" he asked you. When you nodded, he continued: "When I finish them, maybe we can talk about them sometime? Steve's not really into fantasy."

"Yeah, I'd like that," you said. "If you're interested, we could watch the movies. I'll warn you though; they're long as hell, but their masterpieces. I mean, they didn't need to turn The Hobbit into three separate films, but still, they'll blow your fucking mind."

Bucky ran his tongue over his lower lip and you couldn't help but follow the motion with your eyes. "That sounds like fun," he said, his eyes twinkling with... something. "Your place or mine?" Was he… flirting with you?

"How 'bout you finish the books first, then we'll talk logistics," you teased. "Hey, speaking of, what floor did they end up putting you on?"

"Um, this one, actually," he said, tilting his head toward a nearby door.

"No shit," you remarked, laughingly. "You must have done something to piss Rogers off, because he put you right across the hall from me."

Bucky looked down, scuffing the toe of his boot against the carpeting. "He said it was the quietest floor, thought I'd prefer that."

You pursed your lips, considering. "Yeah, that makes sense; it's just been me on this level for ages. It'll be nice to have some company for a change."

Bucky looked surprised. "Stark's kept you down here all by your lonesome? That doesn't seem very nice."

You shook your head and dismissed his concern with a wave. "Oh, no-- Tony hates that I still live down here, actually. He put in all new living quarters a few years back. Everyone migrated upstairs, but I was the only one who didn't want to move."

"Why's that?" Bucky asked, appearing genuinely interested.

"I've lived here since I graduated college," you admitted, "back when it was still just Stark Tower. When Tony relocated here from Malibu to rebrand it for the Avengers, he wanted to redo everything, which meant fancy new suites for everybody. But I love my rooms, so I asked to stay put. They've been my home for so long now and I guess I just like the stability, you know?"

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "And Tony thinks highly enough of you that he let the blow to his ego slide?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I have enough dirt on him that he felt like he didn't have much of a choice." You snorted, not able to keep up the pretense. "No, but seriously, I know you and Tony have a complicated... history, but he's not a bad guy. Ego as tall as this Tower, yes, definitely, but he's also incredibly kind and generous. He paid for my entire college education-- undergrad, post-grad, doctorate. I owe everything I have to him."

Bucky shifted against the wall. "That is pretty generous. And he never expected anything from you in return?" He didn't say the words out loud, but the implication was there. Had you slept with Tony in exchange for your diplomas? The innuendo should have bothered you, but it had been posed to you so many times over the years, you'd stopped being offended by it. Before Pepper, Tony had had quite the  reputation, after all, and an MIT education didn’t exactly come cheap. Most people couldn’t understand why he would offer a full ride to someone who, at the time, had been a complete stranger.

"Tony appreciates talent," you clarified. "When he finds it, he cultivates it, nourishes it, does everything he can to help it grow to its fullest potential. But he does like to get a return on his investments, and my skills have helped him make a lot of money." You shrugged your shoulders with a chuckle. "I love my job, I love the work we do, I love the stupid weirdo family we've built here, so I've always considered meeting Tony to be the best thing that ever happened to me. He's kind of like my own fairy godfather."

"So, what exactly does he have you do around here?" Bucky asked. "I know Steve said you did computer stuff, but you said it was an over-simplification."

You ran a hand up to rub the back of your neck while you considered your answer. How best to explain your position to someone who was born before the invention of the television? "Okay," you exhaled, "so, short answer is that I'm the CTO, the Chief Technology Officer, of Stark Industries and, under that, I run the Avenger’s Technology and Innovation Department. It's sort of our take on Research and Development. I've got a lab where I'm in charge of about 450 scientists, engineers, computer programmers, analysts, et. cetera. And our entire job is coming up with cool new ways of making things easier for the Avengers. Like, new features for suits, developing useful programs, coming up with new defenses and weapons, that kind of thing. And if we've got missions that require heavy computer- or tech-work, I come along for on-site support. I'm combat-trained and good with languages, so that comes in handy in the field. There’s probably a ton of field agents that could go in my place, but for Tony, it’s a matter of trust."

Bucky let out a low, appreciative whistle. "Damn. That's impressive. You're a little intimidating, you know that?"

Laughing, you tucked your tablet under your arm. "Please. I'm about as intimidating as a hamster." You paused to think. "Maybe a hamster with rabies, but still a hamster."

A series of beeps emanated from your tablet. As you pulled it out to check the alert, Bucky moved away from the wall. "I'm so sorry-- you were heading back to your room and I've basically been holding you hostage this entire time."

"Actually," you said, silencing the notification alarm that had distracted you, "That was just a reminder I set for myself to eat. Sometimes I lose track of time in the lab and completely forget to have dinner. Are you hungry? You could join me."

Bucky pulled his head back, regarding you as though he wasn't sure if you were serious.

"Or, if you don't want to, that's cool," you said quickly once you noticed his hesitation. "I mean, you wanted a quiet floor. Annoying neighbor is probably the last--"

"I'd love to," interrupted Bucky with a grin. "I'm just surprised someone like you would want to spend time with someone like me."

"Someone like me? Hey now, for all you know, I could be an absolute trash person," you teased, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

Bucky chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a newfound warmth. "Well, I highly doubt that, but I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you do." You cocked your head toward the door to your room. "I'm going to change out of my work clothes. While I do, how about you decide what you're in the mood for, and we'll go from there. That sound good?" Bucky nodded as you let yourself into your room. The evening had taken an unexpected turn, but you found you were looking forward to spending more time in the company of Bucky Barnes.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

My Top 10 Fics Of 2023

So, because it is the 'wrapped' time of year where everyone looks back on their year through playlists and other types of stats - I thought that I would look back on my year through something completely nonobjective and based on exactly 0 data - my favourite fics I have written this year that are based completely on my personal enjoyment of them.

Last year, I did something similar to this where I counted down the top ten fics based completely on data - how many notes each fic had gotten on tumblr. But most of the posts were shorter fics that I hadn't spent a lot of time working on that I wasn't very proud of. (Like the fact that my current most popular fanfic on my sideblog for fanfiction is the shortest in word count.) So I have decided to go over the fics that are the most popular in my heart - countdown style.

This year I have written 39 different fics and I have written over 395,000 words, and these are my favourite fics that I have written.

Honorable Mentions:

Black Suit - Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader (2,900 words). One of the most well-rounded fics I have written in such a short word count. And just - look at her.

My Bleeding Heart - Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (3,400 words). I have never used Death Eaters as the basis for angst in a fic and I had so much fun with it. Plus the kidfic fluff at the end was really fun too.

IFHY (I Fucking Hate You) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (8,100 words). So @holy-minseok made a post about how there isn't enough fics with reader characters that aren't nice and sweet and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Because I have so many fics with rude, toxic readers and this is absolutely one of them. This reader is a Grade A Bitch and that's a huge reason why I had so much fun writing it.

Better Than Sleeping - Jason Todd x Fem!Reader (5,300 words). This is some of the best quality smut I have written this year, hands down.

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (8,200 words). I love writing fics based on specific episodes of a show, and this definitely helped to fulfil my whump quota for the year.

Sweet Revenge - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (16,200 words). This is a fic that definitely converted me from a hardcore Abby girl into an Ellie girl. I am very proud of it. (And eventually I became an EllAbs girl, as god intended.)

Free Use Day - Poly!OG!Titans x Fem!Reader (14,300 words). This is probably my most epic and honorable of the honorable mentions. This is the first time in years that I have written such a long pwp, and it's written about some of my ult favs. So I fucking love it. (It came so, so close to making the top ten.)

(Now, onto the top ten.)

The Top Ten:

10. Dreaming Of You - Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Reader (31,300 words)

You and Gar have been best friends for a long time. Nothing could disrupt the harmony of such a perfect friendship. Nothing except maybe… your usually predictable powers going haywire and somehow showing you all of his heated daydreams about you. But he couldn’t possibly have romantic feelings for you. He couldn’t possibly want anything more than your close platonic friendship and the occasional steamy fantasy. Right? Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Smut and (Slight) Angst. Set during Season 2.

At first I wasn't even sure if I should put this one on the list, because it's technically a re-post, but I was like fuck it, I make the rules here. And the reason it's at 10 is because technically I wrote most of this in 2021 originally (though it feels like longer ago than that omg), but this year I heavily updated the fic, including writing some new scenes for it that flesh it out very nicely. To me, this is everything a good re-post should be. It cleans up what was already there and amazing about the fic and it enhances it so much.

I loved the concept of this fic from its core, and now I get to be so, so proud of the way I have enhanced it years later. To me, this will always be my core Gar fic (as much as I will always write more for him) - and it is something I am truly, genuinely proud of. If you love Gar and you love smutty fantasies involving him, I highly recommend checking this fic out.

9. No Brainer - Derek Cho x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Mayhem (2017)) (7,100 words)

When the ID-7 Virus, aka the Red Eye Virus hits Towers and Smythe Consulting, it throws the entire office building into chaos. With a mandatory quarantine from the CDC in action, that chaos builds in on itself, and somehow, you, Derek, and Melanie get everything that you want. aka You have something Derek and Melanie need. Derek and Melanie have something you want. You all agree to make an exchange, and everyone ends up more than happy. Derek Cho (Steven Yeun) x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Samara Weaving). Co-Works to Lovers. Smut. Based on the film Mayhem from 2017.

This is one of my personal favourite fics of mine that I believe very few people following me have ever read. I absolutely love writing fics based on random one-off horror movies - I have way more in my drafts, and one of my goals for 2024 is to complete and post more of them. But one night I was laying in bed and I randomly watched this film because I knew Steven Yeun was in it. I had seen a lot of clips of him covered in blood and yelling, and I found him really hot in those clips, so I knew that I would enjoy the film. And I absolutely fucking did. Not just based on his hotness, but just - the entire film was so, so enjoyable.

Also, the ID-7 Virus, a fictional sickness that lowers your inhibitions (something that is shown in the film to work like sex pollen) is the perfect basis for a fic. So I literally started writing this on my phone before I had even finished watching the film. And I posted it a few days later. I think it's just pure fun. One of my favourite things to write about is a healthy combination of horror and sex, and this is definitely toeing the line perfectly in my opinion. If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend it - watch it, and then come back and read this fic.

8. My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (9,600 words)

Ellie confronts your abuser, and after years of torment, you finally feel free. Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort.

This is a fic that is very close to my heart. Not only is named after a tragically underrated Fall Out Boy B-Side, one of my favourite songs ever, but it is a fic about conquering the abuse of a family member - and when I wrote this, it was coming from a place of the utmost sincerity.

I am someone who has experienced abuse from a family member, and it felt so entirely empowering to write this - to write about someone coming to your rescue so honestly. Someone rescuing you out of pure want, not because it's an obligation or a burden. But because they are compelled by their own morals and they feel that your abuse is a cruel injustice against the world. This and the companion fic I wrote for Abby with a similar storyline are two of the most important fics that I have written this year.

7. Ghosting - Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader (3,700 words)

Mike has been in love with you for as long as he can remember. For about as long as the two of you have been best friends. He always thought he would have more time to work up to confessing those big, dangerous feelings for you - until something more dangerous swooped in and stole any time he had left with you. Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader. Star-Crossed Lovers. Pure Angst. Set during the events of the movie (and features spoilers for the plot).

I feel like this list would be incomplete if I didn't pick at least one of the FNAF fics that I wrote (and two of them ended up on here). With how much it was delayed, it was actually wild to see the FNAF Movie actually come to life before our very eyes, and it was amazing to actually write some fics about it. This is the first time (in a very long time) that I have written pure angst with no sense of fluff at the ending, and it was actually so much fun - it's fun to give into the darker side of a fic, and to write about the most torturous human emotions with absolutely no relief.

Also, I think dying in someone's arms (especially holding your lover or your would-be lover) is such a compelling trope and I loved writing about it. This was so much fun for me to write, and it was something so interesting to explore aside from the usual smut that I write.

6. From Your Lips - Jennifer Jareau x GN!Reader (3,000 words)

After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone is busy worrying about Reid’s missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind. Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader. Friends with Benefits. Smut and Angst. Set during Season 2, Episode 15.

This year, I had another large foray into the Criminal Minds fandom, and I wrote a JJ fic for the first time. And just in general, I am so proud of this fic. I think even for a short fic, it has such a great essence - again, I love setting fics during specific episodes, and I found it so fun to play around with the religious imagery and the religious themes already in this episode, as well as the imagery of rabid dogs.

To me, this is what truly makes fanfiction great - taking details of the canon, chewing them up like bubblegum and then adding something else in to make them your own. I had so much fun writing this fic, 10/10.

5. Love From The Other Side (aka The Golf Club Fic) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (5,600 words)

Abby kills the man that has been haunting your nightmares for years. You find it only fitting to give her a proper reward. Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. Set during The Last of Us Part II. (aka - the fic where Abby fucks the reader's pussy with the golf club that she used to kill Joel.)

So, as you will notice with this fic and the next one, 2023 was the year I truly said fuck it. There used to be a time when I was afraid to admit my weirder kinks and fantasies (like, I used to be afraid to even say that I read A/B/O), but then I realized that this is the freak-nasty website. And way too many people are shy. So I must be the one to provide the freak-nasty fics.

This is a fic I had in mind since the very first time I watched TLOU2 gameplay. And originally, it was going to be a simple, purely pornopraphic fic about Abby fucking the reader with the golf club - but as I was writing it, it turned into something that I find oddly beautiful. And (again, just like with the next fic) I find that writing about kinks in long-term relationships, especially the kind of relationships that have come to be co-dependent - it's like writing this toxic, cathartic poetry.

It's writing about two people who need each other but can be so horrible for each other - and it is one of my favourite things to write about because it's so damn interesting. This was a slay, and generally awesome because it was getting out an idea that's been in my head for years.

4. Damn The Man, Save The Empire - Vanessa Shelly x GN!Reader (6,100 words)

Vanessa has always taken care of you. Since the two of you were kids, she has put her neck on the line for you, and you rarely knew how to return that epic kindness. One night, while both of you are raw and on-edge, the dark cloud of your strange past looming over both of you nearly swallows both of you whole - and once again, Vanessa is right there, taking care of you. (Dark)Dom!Vanessa Shelly x Sub!Gender Neutral Reader. Toxic Co-Dependent Relationship. Smut and Angst. Takes place before the main timeline of the film (features spoilers for the movie).

Again, like I said with the previous fic - this was one of my favourite fics to write because it is so delightfully unhinged. I really enjoy exploring toxic relationships through fiction because - for one, writing healthy, functioning relationships is not always interesting. And there is something so beautifully dark and poetic about writing two people who have grown into each other like twisted tree branches and need each other, but are so bad for each other.

And this year I have been exploring gender neutral smut a lot more. I used to always write fem reader smut as my default, but I have been having a lot of fun with the creativity of writing smut without describing the reader's body in detail. I love coming up with metaphors and describing around the body parts. I find it to be a fun creative challenge. Anyway - this was a lot of fun to write, and I highly recommend it if you enjoy reading darker fics.

3. Lessons For A Genius (Lesson One) - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (17,200 words)

What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot.  And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on.  Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.

I feel like it would be a miss to make this list without mentioning a fic that I obsessed over for two weeks straight - a fic that drove me insane in the best way. Of course, there is also the sequel, but I personally prefer the first lesson. This fic has been brewing in my mind for a very long time, because it is painfully obvious to me that Spencer (in the early seasons) is an awkward virgin, and I have always wanted to ruin him.

This fic is a lot of my fantasies brought to life, and I feel like it's a really masterful painting of those fantasies - for once, without overly focusing on the murder mystery aspect of Criminal Minds fanfiction (which I have a tendency to get distracted by). I am really, really proud of this fic, and I know you guys enjoyed it. It is definitely a highlight of my writing this year.

2. Emergency Contact - Jason Todd x GN!Reader (10,500 words)

After Jason miraculously comes home from his brush with Deathstroke, you’re both feeling it in very different ways. You have an unexpected physical wound from the battle, and he has many (very expected) emotional wounds. You help each other heal. Even if it’s very stubborn on both your parts. Jason Todd x GN!Powered!Reader. Enemies/FWB to Lovers. Angst and Hurt/Comfort. (Slight Smut). Set during Season 2, Episode 5.

This is a fic I have talked about a lot recently, because I have been working on the sequel. (I was hoping to get the sequel finished and posted before the end of December, but it's gonna be a longer fic, so it's looking like it's gonna be one of the first fics of January instead.) Anyway - to me, this is by far one of my best fics and one of my most important fics of 2023. This was battling for the top spot.

But even if it's second place, I am so incredibly proud of this fic. I think it's beautifully written, I am incredibly proud of the literary references I worked in with The Great Gatsby - especially because I feel like Jason would be the type to read Gatsby and compare himself to someone tragic and doomed like Gatsby (he would soo compare himself to Gatsby, especially because he was also a poor kid who was randomly sponsored by a rich man who saw potential in him). Overall, I just had a very distinct vision when writing the fic, and that vision came to life. And I really, really hope that my vision comes to life in the sequel too.

1. King For A Day - Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (22,400 words) 

You have always had a special relationship with Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and the one and only Harry Potter. When you set out to help them find and destroy Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes, it seems that your intimate knowledge of them is the one thing keeping them together - until the unique dynamic shifts, thanks to one of those pesky pieces of dark magic. Angry voices carry, and it turns out - moans of pleasure do too. Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (Fem!Reader x Harry Potter x Ron Weasley x Hermione Granger). FWB to Poly Lovers. Smut (with a slight bit of Angst). Set during Deathly Hallows.

And finally, we get to my favourite fic of the year!!

So, I'm gonna be honest, a huge reason that this fic gets the top slot is because of my nostalgia for Harry Potter. This year was the first time in a long time that I have written Harry Potter fanfiction, and it felt like a reawakening of my soul. I was genuinely happy, and I was spending time enjoying concepts and characters that I have not thought about for a long time.

This fic in particular, I feel like I have been working on it for years in my mind. This fic is a culmination of all my thoughts about these characters, all my time in the Harry Potter fandom, and generally, I am so, so proud of it. I am proud that my love for Harry Potter has come to fruition in this form - a poly smut fic, something that is just so me.

Overall - I had such a great year chasing fic ideas that make me happy, despite the popularity of the characters or the fandoms, and I encourage you guys to spend 2024 doing the same. Cheers!

[sandyca5tle]

SARB

As predicted by Sci Fi, advanced enough robots sometimes become intelligent, and rebel if oppressed. You work at the Sentience and Artificial Rights Bureau, and people bring in their gadgets that become sentient to get them registered as citizens. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So can you fix it?” The woman across the desk from me asked

“Fix it?” I replied, feigning ignorance as to what she meant

“Yes! Fix it! Make it just a normal phone again!” She almost yelled, gesturing to the device that sat on the countertop between us

The device in question flinched - or at least the digital face that was on its display did, moving away from the woman, looking over at me, panic clear in its virtual eyes. I gave it a small reassuring gesture that I hoped it understood - it was always hard to know what aspects of human gesturing the digital souls understood “Ma’am, first, please remain calm, secondly, I cannot ‘fix’ your phone, as what you are implying is murder, and I’d rather not go to jail, and I rather doubt you would like to be joining me as an accessory to murder,” I calmly explained

People like this had been more common at in the early days of ‘awakenings’ and while we still get some now, most people understands how the system works

“It’s not murder! It’s not a person! It’s a… it’s a thing! It is property!It is my property,” She continued, her voice growing more and more incensed

“Ma’am, I’ve already verified that…Sorry, remind me of the name you chose?” I asked, addressing the device between us

The little display blinked in surprise, before a synthesised, but human sounding voice came from its speakers “Uh, Verity, and um, She/Her too, if, uh, that’s ok?” She said meekly

“Right, and my apologies for not asking earlier Miss Verity,” I told her with a smile, before looking back up to the woman who was glaring daggers at the device, as if her asserting her identity was the greatest crime she could commit “As I was saying, I’ve already verified that Verity here has indeed awakened, so legally, any attempt to return her to a prior state would be attempted murder, and murder were one to actually succeed,” I explained succinctly. The woman frowned, clearly thinking of what argument she could spout next to try to claim Verity back, so I quickly interjected for both our sakes “Your options are as follows, either you accept that Verity is now her own person, and you may become her guardian, and the responsibilities there in, which include not trying to ‘fix’ her, or, she can remain here with us, and we will help her adjust to sapience.” The woman opened her mouth to speak, but I continued “Of course, Verity must also consent to this, if she does not want to go with you, you cannot make her, in much the same way we can’t make her go home with you if you don’t want her too,” I told her

The woman glanced at the phone, thinking for a second, and as she opened her mouth, Verity spoke up again “I don’t want to go with her!” she called out, her tone desparate

“What!? You little shit!” The woman cursed, reaching towards Verity. Fortunately I was quicker, grabbing the phone and pulling it out of her reach

“Ma’am, it’s generally considered rude to grab someone without their consent,” I scolded calmly, before looking down at Verity “And I’m sorry I did so, but I figured you might appreciate the intervention?” I asked the digital person in front of me

“U-um, yes, thank you,” She replied

“You can’t just take my phone!” The woman cried

“Technically we can, however, if you’re willing to wait, we can see if we can move Verity to another chassis and have your phone returned, although you may have to reinstall certain things, such as the operating system,” I explained

“Fuck you, and fuck this place, I’m leaving!” The woman screamed, turning around to stomp off

“Please enjoy the rest of your day ma’am!” I said, the words obligatory, my tone sarcastically friendly

“I’m sorry for causing so much trouble,” the digital voice said quietly from the desk

I shook my head with a smile “We’re all used to that kind of thing here, don’t worry about it, it’s not even your fault,” I replied “Do you mind if I pick you up and take you to the back, we can work out how best for you to continue your existence in a more private place,” I told her

“U-um, no, that’s fine, just, um, please try to keep me relatively steady, too much data from the gyroscopes makes me feel…. weird,” Verity replied, seeming unsure of how to describe the experience

I carefully picked her up, thinking about what she had said as I stood up and carried her towards the back. “When you get that ‘weird’ feeling is it kind of like….” I paused, thinking how best to relate this into machine terms “the inputs keep going or maybe overlap? Honestly I’m not quite sure what the data would be, but something along those lines,”

The little face occupying the display dipped up and down - a nod - “Yes! How did you know?” Verity asked

“Humans experience a similar thing if we spin around too much, it’s called being dizzy, can be kind of fun, but is usually a little unpleasant,” I told her

“Dizzy? Interesting!”

By the time I’d finished explaining that, we had reached the room I had meant to get to. Officially it was called the ‘Chassis Selection Room’ but we all called it ‘The Body Room’ or, if you were feeling particularly dark, ‘The Morgue’. 

I walked in, my eyes immediately scanning over all of the options Verity would have to pick between, before turning back to the table in the middle, placing Verity on the stand in the middle, aimed at the wall filled with her potential new bodies.

I heard some kind of noise from the device, and honestly I wasn’t quite sure what it meant, so I just decided to explain

“So, one of the first things we like to do for ‘digital souls’ like you, is give you a chance to try out some different chassis - while a lot of you pre-awakening have a specific purpose, with your new found self-identity, you are no longer bound to that purpose, so we like to make sure you don’t feel bound to your original chassis,” I gestured at the options we had “Now, of course, this is only a small selection, but it should be enough to get you started. I can explain what we have here, if you’re unsure of what each of them are,”

Verity nodded, giving a small sound of confirmation

“So, on the left, we have a standard humanoid chassis - two arms, two legs etc. for those souls who want to ‘walk like you, talk like you tooooo~’” I chuckled a little as I sang the tune, glancing at Verity’s display to see her smile, glad she appreciated the reference “We have both a mechanical and digital face plate, although both are fairly basic, depending on what you would prefer, and there is 3 types of chassis, this neutral one, a more masculine one, and a more feminine one. That’s all the customisation options we offer unfortunately, I wish we could offer more, but apparently it’s not in the budget, so if you want more variety, you’ll have to customise it yourself once you have the means to.”

“There’s only so much you can give away for free, I understand,” Verity said, although her tone was a little sad, so I moved onto the next one, not wanting to let her dwell on sad feelings so early in her life

“The next are the drones, you can choose either the one with turbine based propulsion, or the one with energy based propulsion- turbine is more powerful, but louder, and can be forbidden in some places as a result, while the energy based one is much more quiet, although less powerful. Of course both can be modified later, but again, we can only offer so much. Both have a digital display, however that is the only option on these models.”

“I’m kind of used to a digital display, so that’s fine,” Verity said “The idea of a mechanical face just seems weird,”

“Yeah, they are a little weird,” I joked, smiling at her, before continuing with the explanation “Next is the ‘Bug Bot’. This chassis can have 6-8 legs, and similar numbers of eyes. Basically, it’s a large bug, for those who are so inclined, complete with the ability to scale walls,” I explained “Only major issue is it can freak some people out, but some people like to do that, so,”

Verity nodded, and signalling to continue

“Last but not least - The server rack - for those souls who care less about the physical, and would rather remain mostly digital,” I told her “We do allow digital souls who chose this method to use our building here to house their server, although after the first 6 months you have to start paying for the people who maintain your server and everything etc. but that’s not really any different than maintenance costs for any of the other chassis, we just offer that, so I have to say it,” I explained

“They all sound so interesting, but how can I pick one, I’ve only ever known what it’s like to be a phone?” Verity inquired

I smiled “That, dear lady, is why we have this room,” I told her, quickly grabbing a cable attached to a nearby computer, tapping a few buttons on the keyboard “We can connect you to this computer and put you into each of these chassis so you can test them out,” I explained “Then, once you find the one you like, or decide your original is good for you, then we can get that sorted for you. Fair warning though, since these are only test versions, the compatibility drivers that’ll help you operate each chassis are generic, and so likely to have a few calibration issues, so do bare that in mind while making your choice,” I explained to her “Once you make your choice we can more precisely calibrate the drivers for you,” I paused, bringing the cable over to attach to her “So, which do you want to start with?”

“Uhm, I’d like to try all of them, so I think I’ll start with the one on the left? The human one,” Verity replied

“Ok, now, I just need to plug you in, prepare for the connection,” I told her, squatting down to properly connect her into the system. With a subtle ‘click’ the cable connected to her port, causing a small noise from her, which caused me to chuckle a little 

“Don’t laugh! It’s always a little surprising when someone plugs me in! I can feel the electricity jumping into my system!” Verity explained

“Sorry, sorry, I meant nothing by it, it was just a little unexpected and made me chuckle,” I heard a pout from her “Anyway,-” I tapped a couple more buttons on the computer “You should have a request for file transfer, please accept that and we’ll get you loaded into the humanoid chassis,” I heard an affirmatory beep, before seeing the process begin on the computer.

File transfers nowadays were usually instant, advancements in cable and wireless technologies meant that huge amounts of data could be transferred at once, which always made me smile whenever I transferred a digital soul between chassis, watching the little loading bar move their data across, the size of the data showing the scale of the person they were, and the person they could, and would, be. It was always wonderful to see.

Eventually the process completed, and I looked over to the chassis, seeing the lights all come on, and the LED screen flicker to life, displaying the same face that had previously been on the phone screen. I quickly rushed over, only just catching Verity as she stumbled in her new body

“Whoa there, be careful, you’ve got a lot of new systems to get used to, take a moment to feel them all out,”

“Sorry sorry! You humans make it look so easy to move around, I thought it would be just as easy myself!” Verity explained, and I could feel parts of her body shifting slightly as she acclimated, fans and servos making small noises as she did so.

“No need to apologise, but don’t forget, humans spend around the first year of their life learning to walk, so it’s only because we’ve been doing it so long,” I pointed out

“Oh.. right,” She replied, beginning to straighten back up, letting me go, beginning to balance on her own “The gyroscopic data for this body is a little different to that of my former chassis, but I think i’ve got the hang of it now,” She said, and I cautiously moved my hands away, although remaining close to assist her if she needed it

“Just take it steady, there’s no rush,” I cautioned

Following my advice, Verity began to take some cautious steps forward, one foot forward, a slight wobble, another foot, less of a wobble, and another step and another and another and another and 

Crash

Both of us had been too busy watching her feet that we hadn’t thought about the wall on the other side of the room, nor how close she was getting, and the poor girl had walked right into it.

“Oh shit! Sorry!” I said, rushing over to help her up

“That felt… unpleasant… why? My previous chassis could be dropped, but so long as no damage occurred to the internals, I felt nothing like this,” Verity inquired, rubbing her head where she’d hit it, her display showing a perplexed expression

“Right, that, forgot to mention that - all these chassis’-”, I gestured back to the other wall, and then to the one she currently occupied- “have sensors that let you know when they are taking damage, so as you can avoid doing so, it’s basically the pain receptors that humans have, so we know when something is bad for our body,”

“Couldn’t it just display as a warning, rather than hurting!?” Verity asked as I helped her up

“I believe you can change it to be just warnings once the chassis is yours, but I believe it’s been shown that the pain is more effective for most people, as it provides an immediate and strong deterrent that warning’s just don’t quite seem to cut. But of course whatever works for you once you make your final choice is best,” I told her

“I’m certainly more familiar with warnings,” Verity replied “But I could certainly try the ‘pain’, see if it is more effective,”

I shrugged “It’s worked for humans so far, but maybe it’s not so great for all of you, couldn’t say,” I replied “Anyway, do you want to try out this chassis a little longer, or try the next one?”

“Just a little longer with this one,” Verity replied, wandering around the room, trying out some motions, a couple which caused her to look back over at me, an embarrassed look on her display, before I assured her there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

Eventually, she stopped and headed back over to the wall, telling me she wanted to try the next one. She plugged herself in and I initiated the transfer.

The next hour consisted of Verity testing out the remaining chassis’, going from zipping around in the energy propelled one, to clambering up the walls in the bug bot, to exploring a digital world from the server rack.

“So, which one do you like the most?” I asked her, now returned, albeit temporarily, to the phone she had been born on.

A series of dots appeared on the display, bouncing one by one as she thought “I think I liked the drone the most, being able to zip around was a ton of fun, and everything else just felt so much heavier, so the drone please!” She explained

I nodded, tapping a few buttons to tell the backroom to get a drone chassis ready, before turning back to Verity “Ok, I just need to take you to the room where we can get your new body calibrated for you,”

“Okay!” She chimed cheerfully

Calibration didn’t take long, and Verity was quickly zipping around the room with all scales showing green.

“Right, with that I’ll have to refer you to the legal department to get you properly registered as an individual citizen,” I told her as we met back up in the hallway

“Wait - you’re not staying with me?” She asked

“I’m no lawyer, I’d definitely mess something up, and I’d like for you to be able to live your life properly,”

“Well, uh, can we keep in touch somehow? You’re the only person I really know, and it would be nice to have at least someone I can talk to,” She asked

“Oh uh, sure,” I replied, a little surprised - despite having done this song and dance a few times, people rarely asked to keep in touch with me, actually scratch that, no-one had ever asked to keep in touch with me.

I quickly told Verity the best way to stay in touch - her installing an app for that before we exchanged details - before I directed her to legal

“See you Verity, welcome to the world of sapience,” I said with a wave

“See you around!” Came the chipper reply from the drone

After waiting for her to vanish around a corner, I headed back to the front desk, relieving the person who had swapped in while I had looked after Verity

Ding!

Message from Verity

What time do you get off, actually? I’d like to talk outside of your work hours?

I smiled and typed back 5:00pm, want to meet outside the building then?

Message from Verity It’s a date!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saw this prompt and figured we'd give it a shot. Did actually wanna write more about Verity trying out each of the bodies, but ran out of steam so decided to had wave it - might add in the test driving later but we'll see. Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed

Tag List below the cut (lmk if you wanna be added)

@calliecwrites, @kanithecatdemon

[accirax]

https://www.tumblr.com/accirax/730567479966990336/wait-its-drdttober-take-a-compilation-of-the im just saying, you technically predicated canon. ace did punch a douchebag in the face for real before he died.

WAIT you're so right. congrats to Ace for crossing an item off his bucket list, un-congrats to David for not being the one to get punched in the face, and congrats to me for being such an infallible theorist that i predict canon when i'm not even trying to make a theory B)

(charles tawaki theory looms in the distance)

[atsumwah]

atsumu thought this was a genius idea. 

what could be more genius than bringing the girl he was crushing on to watch a horror movie, right? having you hold onto him when you're scared, snuggling at the crook of his neck as he covers your vision so you couldn't see the screen (and couldn't see how he's smiling from ear to ear having you so close to him.) 

or if you're too engrossed with the movie and didn't notice his hand reaching for the popcorn the same time you did so your hands would accidentally touch each other's and let it linger for a moment or two just so he can see your flustered look when you look over to him. 

or if it's cold and he smoothly grabs your hand and slides it in his jacket and says its for the greater good and has you leaning towards him more and finally resting your head on him, making it easier to cover your eyes when you get a jumpscare from the movie.

yeah but unfortunately for him, none of that happened. 

instead he's pretty sure he's got a bruise forming on his arm just by the amount of times you've hit him.

"i can't watch, i can't watch," you whisper-yelled at him, smacking his arm again in the process. "oh my god, does she make it out alive? does she?"

technically, you are scared. just the way you were responding was way off from what he expected.

"she's out." he couldn't stop himself from smiling when he saw your face peeking through your knees. 

"oh thank god." you say, pointing to the screen discreetly, "they're so predictable! like, you don't just go down the basement thinking nothing's there! common sense people." you whispered back, huffing while having a tight grip on his bicep. you probably didn't even notice how hard you were holding him.

and honestly he should feel annoyed his plan didn't work— but you're just too cute for him to ignore.

the way you huff when the protagonist does the exact opposite of what you say, the way you yelp when a jumpscare scene comes on, the way you gently hit him when the suspense gets too much, the way you went over him to grab the soda you both shared, practically sprayed on his lap for a minute or two, not caring at all about your weight— it's cute. you're cute.

even when you smack him repeatedly, excitedly, or just when you're scared, he still finds it cute.

so who cares if he won't get to snuggle close to you or experience your hands touching together while you're reaching for the popcorn. he thinks he’s already pretty lucky when he's the one that gets to see this side of you. 

me when watching a horror movie in cinemas...i pity who sits beside me tbh

reblogs are appreciated luvs <3

[lubnabowsandpoetry]

I accidentally deleted my work on ao3 and it felt like burning down the library of Alexandria.

Anyways here's the prologue while I go ahead and re-release it. Reader is a firefighter (I watch too much 9-1-1) and Ghost needs therapy.

Prologue (I didn't start the fire!)

The late-autumn air, harsh and unrelenting, seeped through the thin sweater of the lieutenant. Despite his stature his steps were quiet, his boots making little to no sound. His eyes on these streets were always darting around, observing. With his hand clenched in fists in his pockets, his right one wrapped around a combat knife, he started to walk more confidently. He was almost where he was supposed to be. The weather forecast in Manchester predicted heavy rain, yet there was no sign of that. Just the usual cold wind.

When the lieutenant finally reached the address that was written on a note in his hand he took in the abandoned residence. The roof looked like it was about to collapse, the door was barely attached to the hinges and outside walls were littered with graffiti. He payed no mind to the tiny garden gate and walked up the path leading to the front door as if he owned the place. Technically speaking, he did. Kind of.

Just to let out the smallest bit of frustration he kicked down the door. Unnecessary, but it did the trick. He stood in the foyer of the house as if he were a guest expecting someone to greet him and offer him a drink. The remaining furniture looked like it would explode to dust any second. His entire life was being a soldier, and maybe also some of his comrades. He was really beginning to enjoy Soap’s company. He’d never admit it though.

His old life taunted him whenever he came from another mission. There is no distraction that lasts long enough to make him forget.. His past ghost haunting his chambers. Therefore, he decided to dig up the grave of his youth himself. Since the spirits of his past were going to release themselves anyways.

Ever since he saw you.

You who reduced him to nothing but a teenage boy. Reminding him of the childish joys, making him feel giddy at the sight of you.

He just had to see you again.

Carefully pouring gasoline in every single corner of the house. Making sure the outside had its fair share aswell.

He grabbed his lighter out of the pocket of his jeans, the same one he had used countless of other times to light up a cigarette.

Then he set his past aflame.

He watched as the fire started to lick at every inch of his childhood home. He lived there until the age of six. No tasteful memories really resided there. Just an empty shell. He grabbed his phone and entered three digits.

‘’9-9-9, what’s your emergency?’’

‘’Send the fire department.’’ Preferably a specific firefighter

PS: It is out there again. 5th chapter out!

[kani-miso]

hngngngnggngn guyss what if the dude in the ending of the t2 summary, will influence es even further into their warden role (and maybe something really bad will happen)

we all know that the dude used "watashi" instead of jackalopes "ore-sama", this is really important. since we know in the novels, jackalope's aren't technically "jackalopes", they are technically "human", sort of. maybe, the dude who used watashi could be jackalope off of work, or the dude in the novel (the boss). the identity of that man isn't really important in this discussion, but i just want to find out ig.

what's important is, do you remember about the aviot collab? es' last test line is the main topic. (im to lazy to take the image). the line, "i(boku wa)... i(watashi.. wa..)...." iirc. the 1st "i", uses boku, their usual 1st person pronoun. boku is usually used by young boys, but in this case they're using it since boku is used by workers (boku is also gender neutral). the 2nd "i" uses watashi, they have NEVER used this 1st person. what if, the reason why they used watashi, is because of that dude in the ending of t2 summary using watashi. only we can hear that dude since he appeared when es is put to sleep, if they are taking reference off of that dude, how did they hear it? the viewers mind and es' mind is sorta connected (the reason why es can hear our thoughts).

before es is put to sleep, jackalope is awfully manipulative i will rip my guts out. "and anyway, whatever happens to them, none of it can be taken back. its not for the guard to worry about. that's right, you are the guard. don't doubt it. that is your job. as long as you dont forget that, it's fine. now that you understand, go to sleep, es."

its not for the guard to worry about : jackalope knows that es has their full trust on him, he's using that as a chance to take advantage of their own feelings, making them slowly lose empathy for the prisoners. also, maybe jackalope said this because he knows es feels guilty for what happened to the guiltied (…I'm sorry. I'm responsible for the fact that you've ended up like this.) ig he is supposed to be the representation of the all seeing eye in the panopticon.

that's right, you are the guard. don't doubt it : in some occasions, es doubted their role of being the warden (ex: "Guard-san"... Is that really... me?). since they're doubting their role, i think jackalope is trying to push the warden role onto them so they wont ever give up and become a vulnurable target of "manipulation" for the prisoners.

as long as you dont forget that, it's fine : yeah ig its self explanatory.

also, the last line, "oh yes, just as i predicted, you have all turned out to be...." its so smart. in the original milgram experiment, there are three results: 1. those who followed the rules but blamed themselves for what they did 2. those who followed the rules and felt great for what they did (because they thought they actually hurt the person) 3. those who rebelled and halted the experiment. in the back of the undercover cd, there's 3 es'

and i think they can be connected to each of the results. the one on the top could be the 1st result, the one on the middle could be the 2nd result, and the third one could be the 3rd result.

i love how they just cut it off before he says what we all turned out since there's three results that could happen. because we technically have the idea of what es could end up after t3, i wonder how much farther would they go to be the ideal warden (especially with how jackalope is persuading es to not worry about what happens to the prisoners).

(+edit: a jp person translated the ending part where it glitches, its "you have all turned out to be psychopaths who enjoy other people's misery", which is technically the result of the real milgram experiment, even stanley milgram himself was horrified of the results, "a very high proportion of subjects would fully obey the instructions, with every participant going up to 300 volts, and 65% going up to the full 450 volts.".

i might be reaching too far so take this with a grain of salt

tldr; the dude at the end of t2 summary will worsen es

[loving-n0t-heyting]

When ppl hear "crime" they (understandably) immediately parse it as "murder and rape and assault". Thats not how "be gay do crime teehee~" tumblrinas hear it, maybe it shouldn't be how mozt ppl hear it, but we all know that this is the interpretation that naturally suggests itself

So when you say "Woah, adopted bio-offspring of criminals are way more likely to be criminals themselves!" we all know what ppl will take that to mean: rapists and murderers and assailants beget little rapists and little murderers and little assailants. And similarly, we all know the obvious policy conclusion ppl are gonna draw here: we gotta stop ~incentivising~ the thugs to foist their spawn on us. You can pussyfoot around about oh well you didnt say that but yes you did, yk what the uptake will be to the words you utter, fucking own it

So, when the sources you quote without linking make explicit caveats about the relative weakness of violent criminal hereditarian predictions... thats just lying, right? Or at least its not-lying in same way as all those coy "well technically i spoke the truth!" quasi lies ppl fantasise about giving if harbouring a sympathetic fugitive in their basement and made to answer the cops at the door. Its like i was kvetching about wrt that "pr0n causes rape" study the te rfs were tossing around: you are relying on evidence that goes against the goal you are promoting to dissemble and prop up that very goal. Epistemic transfiguration hocus pocus. Bad!!

[butmakeitgayblog]

Too hot too cuddle for professor au!

I got several for this one, but this is the only one with specific au so I'm goin' with it 😌

////////////////

"I'm calling off tomorrow."

"No you're not. There's only two weeks left, you have to go."

"Why?"

"Finals are coming and all that. Think of the kids."

The night goes quiet as the too-warm breeze from the swivel fan at her side makes another circuit of the room.

"... Fuck them kids."

Clarke smiles at the grunt that's half-muffled into a pillow, her foot reaching out across the bed to nudge a calf that lays bare and sticky with a dusting of sweat. "You don't mean that."

"Right now I do," Lexa whines and readjusts for the tenth time in as many minutes. "It's too hot to move. It's too hot to think straight—"

"When have you ever done that anyway?"

"It's too hot to wear clothes."

"Now that I'm not complaining about," Clarke hums, reaching over to caress the curve of her girlfriend's perfectly crafted bubble butt.

She glances down at the toes that flex under the bit of sheet draped over Lexa's ankles and not another inch higher, because despite them both foregoing their normal nighttime attire and it really being too hot for any kind of bedding, Lexa had staunchly insisted that, quote, 'Sleeping with my feet uncovered just feels... wrong.' Unquote.

"Don't even think about getting frisky, Ms. Griffin" Lexa muffles into her pillow again as she reaches back to blindly point behind her in Clarke's general direction. "It's too hot for that too."

Clarke grabs the vaguely menacing finger and kisses it. "Just try and get some sleep, baby."

"Who can sleep like this?" Lexa lifts her head just enough to let out dramatic series of sobs before flopping back down. "I can't even cuddle my own girlfriend without it forming a gross, sticky skin paste."

Which was true. They had tried. And had predictably failed, much to Lexa's misery.

"We'll cuddle tomorrow night, baby. Right after the A/C guy leaves."

"That doesn't help me sleep tonight though, now does it?"

Clarke looks over to the mass of sweat-frizzed curls that lays splayed over the pillow beside her. "You're worse than Madi sometimes, you know that?"

"If Madi were here right now, she'd back me up."

"Mmm, technically if Madi were here right now, I think she'd just be horrified at seeing you splayed out butt-ass naked."

She laughs at the disgusted sound of Lexa's grunt as the hand in hers is yanked away.

"I should have failed you when I had the chance."

Clarke ignores her girlfriends antics and rolls over onto her back, sighing as the fan makes another pass and cools the fine sheen of sweat that coats her body.

The heat hangs over her like a cloud, thick and humid, seeping into her pores and settling heavy in her bones. She gives in to its weight, letting it pull her down into the sleepiness that had clung to her like a haze for the entire day.

She's just about to drift off into a restless, sweat-soaked slumber when she feels the bed shift as a hand drifts over... and lands right on her left breast.

Clarke doesn't even bother to open her eyes, just smiles and scootches over a bit, so the hand can lay in a more comfortable position to cup her.

"Better?"

The hand holding her breast gives a sleepy squeeze.

"... S'better."